tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25212835697815085532024-03-08T13:16:28.688-08:00Dealing With A Strong-Willed Child...And Raising His KidsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-30454878897496038542016-11-03T12:28:00.000-07:002016-11-03T12:28:23.207-07:00Happy Halloween!We had so much fun Trick-or-Treating the other night! It didn't feel like October at all, the weather was balmy. In fact, Michaela was wearing a Winnie the Pooh onesie and was complaining that she was about to die and had on a tank top underneath so her costume was unzipped to her waist and hanging off of her shoulders. Jake was whiny, complaining that his legs hurt and he wanted to go home. And Joey was upset because his bucket wasn't full, he wanted to keep going door to door all night long. I guess it really wasn't all that fun. The kids were cute though and got a lot of candy...that they went home and ate...and then complained about being sick. Joey was even hollering at Ed to come and help him from the bathroom, "Daddy, STICKY SPLAT!" I looked at Ed, confused. I had never heard this term before the other night. Apparently it is Joey-speak for diarrhea. Yummy.<br />
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After we got home, the kids handed out some candy. A little. We had about 5 groups of kids come by. It was really sort of depressing. The whole night really kinda sucked to be honest. I got on Facebook and saw posts from friends from my hometown who had kids in costumes, actually smiling! Trick-or-Treaters were lined up all down the sidewalk. *Sigh*<br />
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October has historically been a really tough month for me. Ever since Ed and I left Kansas. Maybe it even started that year. You know October is the month that it actually starts to FEEL like football season (sometimes) and then I start to miss the games. I miss the South vs. Central rivalry that my grandparents used to take me to, along with every other high school football game throughout the season. Every Friday night we would take the blankets and a thermos of hot chocolate to the stadium downtown... Then there's the World Series. I've never really liked to watch full baseball games but I sure loved eating ice cream and popcorn in Grandma and Grandpa's basement while the games were on. I miss the K-State football games, the occasional Chiefs game I used to go to, the Royals games, and even just sitting in a restaurant or bar on Sunday afternoon with like-minded fans. October makes me miss home.<br />
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This Halloween was another reminder that I'm not in Kansas anymore. Just like in recent years past, I wanted to go home. But then I have to think about what home has to offer...or not. The really big deterrent is that Ed has no job prospects there. That's more than a small problem. I have to remind myself that as much as I get frustrated with his job, it definitely pays the bills, kind of. My job wouldn't pay as much there. The government in Kansas is continuing to de-fund Education so my job may not even exist there much longer! The kids have had tremendous opportunities in Texas and Little Rock. Between gymnastics, soccer, Taekwondo, and the educational opportunities they have had...it couldn't be matched if we had stayed in a small town. They have a lot of life experience that I never knew as a kid.<br />
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There are certainly things we are missing out on having left "home". I have to remember all the positive experiences we have had since we left though. We have lived amazing places and had some great times with truly SPECIAL people. When I think of all the friends I would not have made if we had never left...it's worth the sad nostalgia that I feel in October. The experience, love, and friendships we have found along the way are so much more than the longing that my heart feels as the weather starts to cool down. So as I watch the World Series wind down, or the game-winning touchdown any given Friday, Saturday, or Sunday; the tear that slides down my cheek isn't so much for the loss or win of that particular game. It's a combination of the loss from my childhood and the wins I have found elsewhere as an adult. Sad and happy all rolled into one.<br />
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So much love in a single tear.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-19454306753915200782016-01-16T15:04:00.001-08:002016-01-16T15:27:54.092-08:00Hello From the Other Side<p dir="ltr">This past week we got to see a great example of Michaela's "other side". I talk a lot about how mouthy, crazy, and aggressive she is but she has an incredibly sweet heart when she let's it show.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I was at a training three days this week that took me to the opposite side of town and Jake had an awards program Wednesday morning. We decided I would leave early and take Joey to daycare so Ed could take Jake and Michaela to school then go back to Jake's assembly before going to work. Once he let Jake or of the car though, Michaela grinned and told him to go park. She said, "I know I'll be late for school and I might miss out on my field trip this week because of it, but it's worth it. I want to see him get his award." Of course Ed let her stay, how could he tell her no after that?! </p>
<p dir="ltr">Once the assembly started, Jake saw Ed in the crowd and waved. I'm so proud of Jake for all his hard work, by the way. The award he was receiving was for all As and Bs on his second quarter report card. Not so easy to do with his Tae Kwon do taking up so much time and energy. He is SO stinking smart and such a good student. He even does most of his homework without being asked! Love that kid to pieces. Anyway, they called his name and as he walked across the stage, he saw his sister waiting on the other side to take his picture and Ed said he just lit up like a Christmas tree! She took pictures and he asked his teacher to sit with Ed and Michaela the rest of the time. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Just in case you were thinking: wait a minute, Michaela? This can't be the same Michaela; after the awards were over several of the kids in Jake's grade came running up to say hi to her and give her hugs. The principal saw her and said, "hey girl, what are you doing?" And was happy to realize that Jake was her brother. She had to bask in her noteriety. This is a school of 600 kids and Michaela was only there 6 months last school year. She tends to make an impression quickly. </p>
<p dir="ltr">With all of her craziness and as frustrated as we get with her, it just doesn't even compare to how proud I am off the amazing young lady she is becoming. These little glimpses from the "other side" remind me what a truly wonderful person she is and I know that it will overshadow anything else she might do. I SO love that baby girl! <br>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-54264610151186467772016-01-13T08:31:00.000-08:002016-01-13T08:31:03.110-08:002.5 Years in a NutshellWow, so I've fallen off the wagon here. Obviously I just had nothing interesting to write about for the last 2 and a half years...NOT! Jake and Michaela have both been taking Focalin for ADHD on school days only and their teachers can tell within an hour of the start of the day whether or not they forgot it that morning. Jake doesn't mind taking it, he wants to be able to sit still and he can tell when he doesn't have it, it makes him "wiggly". Michaela on the other hand, hates it. (Surprise.) Michaela started middle school this year--6th grade--so she has a lot more freedom and the teachers are less inclined to keep track of her and follow up with me about what she is doing. They also don't have to put up with her all day long so her little "quirks" are less annoying and not as urgent to fix for them. So we thought she was taking her meds each morning with much less fuss than before. Until my parents came to visit for Christmas.<br />
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We had a great visit with them over the holiday and they were going to take all three kids with them back to Kansas for a week so Ed and I could go to Memphis for New Year's Eve and the Liberty Bowl game (K-State vs. Arkansas, great game but we lost :( I had an AWESOME New Year!) so we had to take Joey's car seat out of Ed's car. That was when we found "the stash". Apparently, she has been stuffing her pills under Joey's car seat in the mornings. Not every morning, but several. I don't know why this surprised me but... So we had to have a talk with her about the cost of the medicine and the importance of taking the medicine we give her because if we take notes of her behavior or talk to her doctor about what is going on we are going under the assumption that she has the meds each day. If that isn't true, then we are giving inaccurate information to her doctor and that is a problem.<br />
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About 6 months after my last post, we started taking TaeKwonDo. By "we" I mean the bigs. They have done amazing in their classes and it has really been a great experience for them. I am SO glad that we went this route with them and I really think it has been a God-send for their behavior and self-control. They are still Jake and Michaela, no amount of pixie dust or magic words (or prayers!) will ever make them those kids that will sit at the dinner table and quietly eat their food without spilling drinks, kicking each other under the table, feeding vegetables to the animals, screaming how much they hate the food, or licking the dishes; but it has certainly helped! The instructors at our TKD gym have been amazing. They are like having another set of parents that will talk to them about problems at school, self-control, choices, behavior, etc. They take such good care of us, I don't even mind the small fortune it costs to keep them up to date with their classes and equipment each month! I keep telling the instructors I'm going to set up a cot in the gym because I'm practically paying rent. I'm also there so often it's ridiculous.<br />
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Due to the fact that I was spending five to six days a week at the TKD gym in increments of 1 to 3 hours at a time, I decided I might as well take class too. So I started taking classes in July. It has been AWESOME! Not only is it a great connection with the kids, it is an amazing workout. I've greatly increased my endurance and I've lost over 20 pounds! I am competing in tournaments with the kids, in fact we have one at the end of this month in Memphis. I'm hoping to place well and get some points. Michaela was the State and District champion in Combat Sparring (hitting people with a stick) last year so I have to give her some competition and motivate her to earn it in something else. I figure if I can be State champ in TWO events then she will be inclined to step it up a notch. ;)<br />
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It's so funny to imagine what new people to our gym must think when they come in. If I'm taking class, then there is a three-year-old running around--probably trying to hold up his too-big pants--playing on a tablet or new model cell phone, screaming at his 11-year-old sister and 9-year-old brother who are playing tag or hide and seek with him in the locker rooms. Every so often you hear someone scream and start crying for several minutes, and none of the adults in the other room even look in on it. Of course, it's just Ed and Angie's kids. One time our instructor started class with Joey in his arms. I really should probably pay them more.<br />
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So Joey has taken a few classes but he is not sold on the whole process yet. It usually goes something like "No, I don't want to take class tonight." Then five minutes after class starts he is screaming and crying that he wants to take class because he wants to wear his uniform. So we go to the locker room and put on the uniform only to come out and find "No, I don't want to take class. Take this off." Then he wants to wear the belt. The process repeats. I finally end up fighting a kicking and screaming kid that doesn't want to take class, doesn't want to wear his uniform, and doesn't want to put on the belt. I keep asking him, why are you crying, you aren't doing any of those things. I don't think he gets it.<br />
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Joey cracks me up. He talks so big from listening to Jake and Michaela I just can't get over the things he says coming out of that sweet little mouth. Last weekend we were watching the NFL preview show before the Chiefs vs. Texans playoff game (Chiefs, woot woot!) and he asked Ed, "What is this show? I like this." Ed told him what it was and the analysts were talking about the Chiefs season and how they started out 1 and 5 at the beginning. Joey says, "1 and 5, makes me laugh! Hahahaha!" And he continues watching the show like he was actually getting something out of which offense was expected to throw and who was likely going to be the big story of the game. Where does this kid get it? It's not like we are into sports (lol).<br />
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Anyway, so of course we are always running like crazy. But I'm learning some new tools to help me keep up with things. Hopefully I will be a little better about posting. Maybe this will keep me off Facebook some. I've noticed that I have a little bit of an addiction. I will scroll through all the new posts on my newsfeed and go back to the top and start again. I start to get frustrated when I refresh the news feed and only have two or three new posts to read. I keep thinking "Where are all my friends? What are they doing and why are they not posting about it? I need something new to read!" At that point I'm thinking I maybe need to log off and walk away. I don't think I'll be unplugging any time soon.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-29170307679537104782013-06-28T16:16:00.000-07:002013-06-28T16:16:50.722-07:00Busy-ness As UsualThis week the kids got to attend soccer camp. They really had a good time and I'm glad we were able to send them. It was kind of convenient timing because I had a workshop all this week for work and Ed has already taken some vacation time because of my work schedule. The plan was that I would take Joey to daycare and Ed would drop the big kids off at soccer camp Monday through Thursday (the days of the camp and my workshop). I was supposed to work from 8:30-3:30 each of those days. Jake went to camp from 9-12 and Michaela went from 9-3 so Ed was going to pick up Jake and take him back to work for the afternoon. I would leave work at 2:30, get Joey from daycare, and pick up Michaela to take her to swim team practice. For anyone who is not familiar with living somewhere the size of Little Rock, it takes me a good 30 minutes to get across town on the highway and I work on the opposite corner of town from where we live. So it is not unusual that it takes 30 minutes to an hour to pick them up from one activity and get them to another one. Her swim team group is supposed to practice from 3:00-3:30 on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday but we got permission for her to go to the practice at 3:30-4:00 this week since soccer camp didn't end until 3. We had everything pretty well planned out with minimal disruption to either of our work hours and the kids would be able to attend their regular activities and we only had to pay daycare for Joey for the week. But then on Wednesday we had a slight change of schedule that turned out to be a good thing but is a good example of my daughter's "Michaela-ness". <br />
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On Tuesday, Michaela had a doctor appointment so Ed picked them both up from soccer camp at 12:00 and took them to eat and then to her appointment. She had a swim meet at 6:00. After the swim meet, we were talking about camp and Michaela was telling us that she was "helping out" with Jake's class in the afternoon. I got a little upset because this kind of language usually means that Michaela has found a way to manipulate the instructors to let her do something easier than what she is supposed to do. I was also confused because Jake wasn't allowed to attend in the afternoon because he is only six. I mentioned that to Michaela thinking maybe she was lying again but she said maybe they got to stay because they were seven so we didn't think anymore about it. But I had told her that Jake wasn't going to the full day camp because the rules said you had to be 7. Michaela apparently took exception to this because she confronted the camp director Wednesday morning. Now you have to know that the camp director is the head girls' soccer coach for UALR (University of Arkansas at Little Rock). He's probably not accustomed to being confronted about his camp policies by a nine-year-old. So I'm at work in my meeting and I get a phone call from a Little Rock number that I don't recognize. I figured it might be someone from the camp...I'm never surprised that one of the "bigs" has done something that requires a call home. When I stepped outside and answered, it was Michaela. "Mommy, the coach said Jake can try staying all day today and if he does ok, he can stay all day tomorrow too." I have no idea what she is talking about first of all because I was so surprised that she was the one on the other end of the phone. Me: "What are you talking about Michaela?" Michaela: "Coach said Jake could try the full day camp so Daddy won't have to leave work to come pick him up. Is that ok? Can you call Daddy and tell him not to come pick up Jake?" At this point I'm a little curious that maybe she's just trying to get me to cancel Jake's ride home so he has to sit and wait on her all afternoon at camp. I'm confused. At this point, the coach takes the phone away from Michaela and he tells me that Michaela had said Jake would like to stay all day and it was ok with him if I wanted to let him try it. I asked if Michaela had enough lunch for both of them because the all day campers had to take their own. She had already told him she packed enough so I said it was ok if Jake stayed and that I would call Ed to tell him. So I picked them both up at 3:00 and took Michaela to swim team practice. Afterwards, I asked her, "What did you say to the coach this morning that made him call me to let Jake stay all day at camp?" She said, " I told him 'my mom said you or one of the other coaches said that my brother can't stay for the all day camp because he too young.' He asked, 'how old is your brother?' and I said, 'Six.' Coach asked where he was and I showed him who Jake was then he asked Jake if he wanted to stay for the all day camp. Jake said he did so coach said it was ok and told me to call my dad and ask but I didn't know daddy's number so I called you so you could call daddy." Really. So I guess she hasn't learned to mind her own business but she is definitely not afraid to ask for what she wants. She's probably heard "no" so many times it doesn't even register with her anymore and it certainly doesn't scare her. So Wednesday and Thursday Jake got to go to the full day camp. He did a great job but he got pretty sunburned on Wednesday because he didn't put on any extra sunscreen after lunch. I emailed the coach Thursday to let him know that I was really happy with their camp experience and thank him for letting Jake stay. I'm a little embarrassed and I hope he doesn't think that I was mad about Jake not attending full day but I'm glad he got some extra training time!<br />
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Both the bigs got great evaluations from their coaches and had a great time at camp. I love that they are doing so well in soccer and enjoying it so much. I think swim team is a great complimentary sport for them to participate in as well. It will keep their bodies strong and build endurance and help them stay active all year. Jake is taking private lessons in order to learn the four strokes so he can join swim team too. He only gets to go once a week but he "practices" in the apartment pool a lot. I was laughing at him swimming backstroke yesterday at his lesson, it was so cute! The coach had helped him float on his back and then kick his feet while floating and then they tried to add the arms. Oh my goodness, his little arms were everywhere! They were flailing around and splashing water everywhere, the coach leaned way back away from him to avoid getting smacked in the face! She instructed him in how to keep his arms straight and turn his palms out when his elbows got to his ears. By the end of the lesson, he was doing much better. It was adorable to watch! I can't wait until he is able to join swim team too. I'm hoping I'll be able to keep them both swimming all year. Michaela has improved and continues to get better each time she gets in the water. She is so good at breast stroke and is working on freestyle and butterfly. I don't think she really likes backstroke anymore because she is scared of hitting her head at the other side. I can't say I blame her, I always was a little apprehensive about that too. <br />
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Joey is growing so fast, he is nine months and he is pulling himself up on furniture. We are waiting for him to start "cruising" the living room. He really gets around. And he is also not afraid to ask for what he wants, or just take it. When Ed and Jake are trying to play video games, Joey grabs the controllers and pulls on the cords. It frequently causes Ed's character to jump off a building or run right into the middle of a fire fight. I think it's kind of funny. We have to hide the controllers in a drawer when they aren't playing. I finally got Ed to put his toys away! Joey loves to watch while his bigs play on their kindles or watch cartoons. He crawls right up on their laps so he has a good view. This afternoon while I have been typing, he got a little upset that I wasn't paying him enough attention so he untied my shoes. When that didn't work, he started grabbing the laptop and typing on the keys until I put it down and played with him for a little bit. I don't think my kids will ever be in danger of being ignored. They won't let that happen for very long.<br />
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As busy as this week has been though, the most exciting part has been today. Michaela's doctor's appointment on Tuesday was with a psychiatrist to see if he thought she might have ADHD. We have talked to psychologists; school principals, teachers, and counselors; a social worker; and more than one pediatrician trying to find out what is going on with her. We have known since she was two that there were some issues but no one has been able (or maybe willing) to say she had ADHD. Finally this year her pediatrician agreed that there is some kind of problem and sent evaluations to be filled out by us and her teacher but even with the teacher and the school counselor, they couldn't diagnose her with the evaluations and had to refer her to an actual psychiatrist because the pediatrician was convinced she needed medication of some kind but couldn't prescribe it without the diagnosis. Just FYI, they diagnosed Jake in nothing flat with the evals and he has always been so much easier to deal with than Michaela! Anyway, the psychiatrist had to get permission from his supervisor but decided to try the same medication and dosage that Jake is on. I waited until today to give it to her because I wanted to be with her in case it made her feel sick or weird. I hesitate to be excited but I can't help myself after what happened today. We had to drive to another appointment downtown this afternoon and both the trip there and back were QUIET. And don't forget, these trips are about 20 minutes each way and neither child had any toys, electronics, or other distractions. They sat quietly for the entire ride. Michaela asked me a couple of questions on the way there and on the way home they played quietly with the stickers they got at the appointment. There was even some laughing but it was so quiet, I don't even know what they were laughing about. I know this probably sounds crazy but anyone who has ever gone anywhere with these two could probably be picked up off the floor right now. I'm not embarrassed to say, I was pretty choked up that my two children could behave this way. So I took them out to eat afterwards as a reward and they were super good there too! No fighting, so yelling, no arguing about who sat where. I kept wondering where these kids came from. <br />
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So even though this week has been a little crazy, there was a literal "calm" at the end. Calm that I don't think I've ever seen before. I have to say, I'm more than a little hopeful that this is what she has needed just to "take the edge off" of the craziness. Maybe if the clam will last, we can deal with her a little easier. It's nice to have something UN-usual for once. :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-19564920643781409812013-06-21T12:47:00.000-07:002013-06-21T12:47:07.832-07:00Sick (and Tired of Lying and Fighting!)So school ended three weeks ago and yesterday was my fifth day off. It seems like teaching gets fewer perks and more responsibility every year. With my position as Math Facilitator, I work an extra week after school is out and an extra week before the teachers come back in August in order to help get organized and be ready for the school year. I normally wouldn't complain about it (I do get paid for the days unlike when I was coaching!) but this year, I was sick on top of it. My last few weeks have been a little more stressful than usual.<br />
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The last day of classes was Friday May 31st. Michaela had complained the last week of not feeling well but being the last week of school I told her to go and she didn't want to stay home anyway. I felt fine all day Friday until late that evening when my throat started to feel funny. I ran a fever of 103 all weekend so I went to the doctor Sunday afternoon and found out I had strep so I stayed home Monday. Michaela stayed with me so I could make sure she didn't spike a fever too since she hadn't been feeling well but we both went to work/daycare on Tuesday. Wednesday night Jake had a fever so Ed stayed home with him on Thursday and Friday. Ed got sick too and didn't feel well all weekend with a stomach ache and low fever. Saturday morning, I had to go back to the doctor because the left side of my throat was getting worse and the glands in my neck were huge! They gave me a different antibiotic (I had to make about four phone calls and three trips to the pharmacy before I actually got them late Sunday!) and I left Monday morning for a conference in Hot Springs, AR. Sometime over the weekend, Michaela spent the night throwing up, I had a stomach ache on top of the strep, and when I got back to town on Wednesday night, Jake was throwing up. Somehow through all of our shared sickness, Joey was fine. We have also stayed busy as usual. Michaela got on the local swim team and has practice Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 3:00 to 3:30. Jake is in private lessons until he can swim well enough to be on the team. Her meets are Tuesday evenings. Next week, I have workshops Mon-Thurs 8:30 to 3:30, Jake is in a half-day soccer camp (9-12) and Michaela is all day (9-3). The first week of July will be my first week that I don't have to work any day during the week. Both big kids spent the day yesterday at church camp where they swam, did crafts, and learned about archery. Of course archery was their favorite! I had to cancel Jake's first swimming lesson and my housekeeper due to all the illness so the apartment was a mess and it certainly didn't help that I had spent several days in bed because I was too sick to get up. Hopefully this was no indication of how the rest of our summer will go!<br />
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Despite being sick the whole first weekend in June and missing work on Monday, I tried to clean up the house and then I went to the grocery store with Michaela because we were out of formula for Joey. She loves to play on my phone and I decided to take the opportunity to teach her a lesson about lying. Michaela has had a long history of telling lies. The seeds of dishonesty sprouted back before she could even put a full sentence together. When she was potty training, we would give her a piece of candy as a reward when she went to the potty. Pretty soon, she would run into the bathroom and flush the potty any time she wanted a piece of candy. She began to plan more devious schemes when she was in preK. She was the last one in her class to fill up her sticker chart to pick a prize from the treasure chest. In fact, some of the other students had filled theirs twice and she had five spaces left on hers. She had gotten several stickers in a two week time frame and we were very proud of her and told her how excited we were that she was minding her teacher in order to get the stickers. Then she had a "great idea". "Mommy, I can get my own stickers and put them on my star chart to fill it up. My teacher will say 'Now how did that happen?' and I will get my prize from the treasure chest!" We had to explain to her that while her idea was creative and a possible solution to her problem, it was cheating and cheating is not acceptable behavior. We knew at this point that we were in for trouble. Of course she told the usual lies that children tell, "I didn't hit my brother", "I don't know who ate the last cookie" (with crumbs all over her clothes), "The tv came on by itself", I'm sure you've heard these before. Then in Kindergarten, she started sneaking clothes to school so she could change after she was dropped off because she knew Mommy and Daddy wouldn't approve of what she wanted to wear. She was a teenager in a 5-year-old body. Anyway, I saw a parenting blog about a mom who decided to teach her son a lesson about lying. I wish I had thought of this years ago, I had to try it. I told Michaela she could play games on my phone in 5 minutes. She came to me a little later and said she knew that five minutes had passed because she had watched a whole TV show and could she play my phone now. I said, "No, I lied. You can't play on my phone now. But lets go to the grocery store." She was mad but she likes to go shopping so we left. She asked if she could play my phone on the way there. I told her no, but if she was good at the store, I would let her play on the way home. I had to remind her a couple of times in the store but she did pretty well. We got in the car to leave and she asked again if she could play because she had earned it. I said, "No, I lied. You can't play on my phone today." She was SO mad! I explained to her that this is how it feels to be lied to and she agreed that it was no fun. She cried so hard and it wasn't the screaming and wailing of perceived injustice (i.e. temper tantrum) but her heart was broken because I had lied to her. It was painful to listen to. When we got home, I sat her in my lap and explained to her how hurtful lies were. I asked her if I told her she could play my phone that night would she believe me. She said no and I pointed out how easily trust is broken by lying. I told her that I only lied to her to teach her a lesson. And it was a very small lesson. I promised her that I would not lie to her again unless she continued to lie and I had to teach her a bigger lesson. That evening, she started to lie and immediately changed her mind and told the truth (I was SO excited!). Since then, she has been MUCH more truthful and I am optimistic about being able to trust her. Even this morning, she told her brother she doesn't lie anymore because she doesn't want to have to learn another lesson and he shouldn't either. Score one (or ten!) for me.<br />
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I complain a lot about Michaela's behavior but she is super helpful too. She has SO much fun with baby Joey and is (usually) so good to him! She plays with him and fixes his bottle sometimes. He adores his big sister. He smiles and laughs when she walks by and holds his little arms out for her to pick him up. Joey is crazy about Jake too. He crawls after Jake and they make faces and funny noises at each other and laugh and laugh! It's too cute. I get mad at Jake though because he seems to have a weird obsession with putting his feet on the baby. Another frequent phrase I never thought would use, "Get your feet off of your baby brother!" I can't figure out what goes on in their crazy little heads. We call Jake and Michaela the bigs. Joey loves his bigs and loves to watch their craziness. I'm sure "bigs" will be one of his first words! He's getting close to words but mostly he just blows raspberries. We had to put a gate across the back of the living room to keep Joey from getting into the cat food, or litter, or falling down the stairs. Michaela likes to get him out of his crib in the morning and play with him. But then she gets involved in a tv show and forgets to watch the baby. Ed woke up to him banging on the bathroom floor in our room one morning so he got dressed and went to get the gate. Joey is growing so fast. If you say "yay!" Joey claps his hands and smiles. He can roll a tennis ball (though his aim is not very good) and he pulls up on stuff now so he is standing. Joey likes to play with cords and the remote controls for the tv and video games. Daddy is proud but gets very angry when his character accidentally jumps of a cliff because Joey grabbed the controller at an inopportune time. Baby's current favorite game is "Can I have that? Thank you." "You want it? You're welcome." We hand a toy back and forth. He gets mad if you try to end the game when he still wants to play and he screams at you and flaps his arms. Just another indication that he is one of the family.<br />
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I promised the crazies I would take them to the pool this afternoon so I was going to have to wrap up for now. Unfortunately for the children, they decided to throw a ball at each other just now so we are not going. Michaela threw it first and hit Jake in the back so Jake threw it at her and hit her in the face. She started crying and complaining that she only hit him in the back. She apparently didn't think it was fair that Jake had better aim. They have been working on getting along and playing nicely together and they have been better (with some obvious slip ups). We even made sticker charts for them to keep track of days that they don't hit or yell at each other and do their chores. We had to include a spot for bathing too, they were starting to stink and I had to cut an inch off of Michaela's hair because she wouldn't wash and comb it. I don't understand why I would have to bribe my children to take a bath. We are going to try to make brownies later. I'm supposed to have the bigs practice working together so Jake will hold the bowl while Michaela cracks the eggs and adds the oil. Then Michaela will hold the bowl while Jake pours in the mix and stirs. If they can get through this without brownie mix all over the kitchen it will be a miracle. I just don't want to have to fight them to take a bath after the chocolate fight that Michaela swears she didn't start...wish me luck!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-75569175162035672312013-03-20T21:30:00.002-07:002013-03-20T21:34:31.599-07:00Rollin' With ItI hate doing birthdays. I am not good at planning and I get all stressed out about booking a party and organizing all the details, especially invitations. How am I supposed to invite kids to a birthday party when I don't know any of the parents and they can't hand out invites at school unless everyone is invited? Birthdays are supposed to be special and the kid should feel like a superstar for a day but what if nobody shows up? Way too stressful for me. Michaela's birthday was March 8th and I really wanted to have a big party for her. She didn't get a birthday party the last two years (I don't even want to talk about it) so this year I started early asking her what she wanted. I was going to give her a painting party. She loves anything to do with art so I thought this would be perfect for her. She told me she wanted to have a gymnastics party instead. I asked her if she was sure she didn't want to go painting and she said she wanted to see the place first. What 8-year-old needs to pre-approve party locations? I don't know what she expected to find or what she was looking for. It's a place where you go paint pictures, and she's even been to a party like that before! I tried to convice her but she insisted on going there before choosing. Between me starting a new job and Ed working late all week and every weekend for two months, we didn't get to go "check it out" so she never made a decision, and I never booked a party. So her birthday approached and we didn't have any big party plans. I did get online and ordered a couple of the American Girl items that she had asked for out of a catalogue and I even had them delivered ON TIME so she got to open them on her birthday (this is huge for me). We ordered a cake that was decorated with zebra stripes and hot pink and blue icing (her favorite colors), took her out to a special birthday supper, invited one of her school friends over for cake that night, and took cupcakes to her soccer team practice the following week. But I still feel like I didn't do enough. I want to take her and one of her friends for a mani-pedi but haven't yet. I feel like I really screwed up by not having a big party this year and I can't get it out of my head. She seemed happy with the activities and all the soccer friends told her thank you for the cupcakes and happy birthday, she really had fun with it at the time. She enjoyed the dinner, cake, and especially having her friend come over. The sisters came along too so there were several little girls over to see her room and play for a while and they brought her a really nice present. Maybe I just put too much pressure on myself. I have really high expectations. And I think Michaela takes after me in that respect.<br />
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We took Michaela to the psychologist today. We have struggled with her behavior and defiance for what seems like forever but a couple of months ago, we hit the breaking point. She was fighting with Ed about getting ready for school one morning and Jake was trying to help out by feeding the cat for her so they could leave as soon as she was dressed. She got mad that "he did her job for her" and said that if she could get away with it she would kill Jake. Now I don't think she really meant that she would or even wanted to kill him but I can't just let that go. We talked to the school counselor and got her an appointment to talk to the psychologist with a Child Studies program here in town. Today was the first appointment we could get so it's a good thing she wasn't serious. We got there today and the doctor (I really don't know if she's a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, etc so doctor is just easiest) asked us all these questions and talked to Michaela some and she found some things she wants to follow up with. She gave us questionnaires to fill out to help her check for ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and depression. She thinks that mainly Michaela is having some adjustment issues with her younger brothers and maybe with the move from last summer and I think she has really picked up on some of Michaela's major problems. I'm ready to try medication. Michaela needs to try a low dose of something and I need a margarita IV. <br />
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Just this evening, we had a huge blow-up over washing her hair. You would think a 9-year-old girl would know how to wash and condition her hair without a fight but not Michaela. She got out of the shower quite a while ago and went to her room. I called her out to the living room because I heard her crying. After talking with her for several minutes, she refused to tell me what was wrong and ran back to her room so I followed her. While we were talking, I noticed that her hair wasn't combed and I asked her to get a brush. I finally got her to tell me she had been crying because the "My Little Pony" TV show that she watches on her kindle is over and she didn't want it to end. No matter how well I know this child, I continue to be surprised at the things she does. Anyway, I tried to brush her hair and it didn't seem right so I questioned her and found out she didn't wash it, she just conditioned it. It was taking too long in the shower and she didn't want to take the time to wash it with shampoo. So I told her to get back in the shower and wash it right. She fussed and tried to argue but I wasn't having it so she got back in to finish her hair. When she got out, she brought the comb back to me and I went to work again. This time, when I got to the top of her head, the comb came out foamy, she hadn't rinsed it well. She screamed and started to argue again but then she went. And came right back out. I said, "No, you couldn't have rinsed good in such a short amount of time." She had wet her hands, wiped her hair and rinsed her hands. So I sent her back to the shower for the third time. But she threw a MAJOR fit. "I'm NOT getting back in the shower, I'll get my shirt wet and it takes too long!!!!" I told her if I counted to 3 I was going to dump her, clothes and all, in the shower. "No, I'm not getting back in the shower!!" "1" "Mommy, it takes too long!!!" STOMP, STOMP, STOMP, STOMP. We live in an apartment and have neighbors below us. I'm sure they will be suing for the ceiling chunks that have certainly been raining on them. Michaela turned on the water in the sink again. "2" (Turns the sink off.) "MOMMY!!!" "Michaela, you are already on two. Get in the shower. And if you turn that sink back on that is as good as telling me NO!" She turns the sink back on. "3" "NNNNOOOOOO! MOMMY!!!" Much screaming and crying ensues as I go to PUT the child into the tub. Being the intelligent person that she is, she quickly stripped down and got in on her own. But then she was mad that I stood in the bathroom with her and made sure she rinsed her hair well. Forgive me for not wanting to repeat the previous scene. How appropriate that I could close the shower "curtain" on her little melodrama. I'm sure she is going to win an Oscar someday. She is a talented little actress.<br />
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She is also unbelieveably smart. Over the last month or so, they have been testing Michaela for the alpha program. She gets great grades in school and I don't believe she is even performing up to her potential. She is allowed to do artwork when she finishes her school work so sometimes she rushes through just to get done. She doesn't always pay attention to details either. She had to have 14 AR points for this nine-week grading period. She got the 14 points about 4 weeks in but she only had an average of 79% and it had to be 85% or better. So she kept taking tests, and lots of them, in order to raise her percentage. I tried to explain to her the difficulty of raising an average but she didn't quite get it. I think there are lots of adults who don't get it. Anyway, the week before the grading period was over she came home one day and was so excited that she had finally gotten over 85%. She had 36 points. So she was able to get almost three times the number of points needed for the nine weeks but struggled to meet the average because she didn't always read carefully and got less than 80% on several tests (so they lower the average and they don't increase the points either). But once she knew she was going to be below the average, she read more carefully and brought it up. She's completely capable but chooses when and where. So we asked that she be tested for gifted (alpha). I'm not completely sure yet but I have talked with some people with the district and I think she is going to be accepted in the program. There is also a magnet school that has a specialty program for gifted students that is supposed to be really good so we are looking into sending her there next year. She could even start taking orchestra. We will have to add "practicing" to our list of arguments and ordeals. Maybe she will earn a Tony to go along with the Oscar.<br />
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Speaking of "practice", soccer started up again a couple of weeks ago. Jake had a game first and he did SO great! He got out there and ran as fast as he could up and down the field; he attacked the ball, even when another player was dribbling down the field; and he got a goal and an assist! He was playing like he had back in Texas last spring and I'm so happy. I love watching them play, they are so happy and they do such a great job on the field. They get along with the other kids and they work as a team...it's awesome watching kids play sports. Michaela's team had a great first game this season too. They got a few new girls but all of the girls came back from the fall. Michaela played goalie most of the game, she is very aggressive and great at keeping the ball out of the goal. The other team didn't score a single goal against her. Then she got to play mid-field for the beginning of the second half and she worked with her forwards and she scored two goals of her own. She is awesome. I love watching both of them on the soccer field. I get so worked up though, I'm always yelling and cheering. It probably annoys the other parents, but I cheer for everybody, not just my kids. If they don't like it, oh well. It's not like I'm gonna change anyway.<br />
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On the soccer field Jake is doing great but he continues to act like a wild animal at school. A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from his PE teacher that he wasn't listening in PE class. Who gets in trouble in PE!?! That is the one class that you are SUPPOSED to run around and jump and climb and get a little crazy, how can he screw that up? Apparently he was angry that it was raining and he didn't want to do PE indoors because the video they did was too long. So he sat in the middle of the floor and refused to participate. The PE teacher asked him to play along with the other kids and Jake said NO. The teacher told Jake he needed to either participate and do the video or go to the office for telling him no and refusing to do what he was told. Jake chose to go to the office. Five minutes later, another teacher brought Jake back to the gym teacher because she found him wandering around the halls when he DIDN'T go to the office. So he got a referral to the principal for lying about where he was going on top of everything else. Not good. A few days later, he ended up in the principal's office again when he argued with his classmate and told him he was going to kill him. So I guess Michaela is rubbing off on Jake. He wasn't allowed to go to extended day and I had to come pick him up, thank goodness it was already the end of the school day anyway. The principal said if he said it again he would probably get suspended. I don't know how to make these kids understand that they can't talk to people like that. Maybe they need to spend some time in an airport and let them see how stupid comments can get people stripped searched, interrogated, and held against their will. And they think I'm mean.<br />
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Joey is growing like a little weed, at his check up today he weighed 17 pounds, 6 ounces and was 27 inches long. But the doctor is concerned that he isn't rolling over yet. The baby has an older brother and sister who adore him and can't stand to let him cry for two seconds so of course he hasn't learned to work hard to get to something that he wants...they hand it to him to keep him quiet. Surprise! So I'm supposed to work with him to get him to roll over in the next couple of weeks and let the doctor know if he still isn't rolling in another month. I also asked about getting the big kids diagnosed with ADD or ADHD so we could try medication so we got a bunch of paperwork to fill out and they both have appointments in a month to go over the results. I don't know if I can make it that long.<br />
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We just can't seem to get it right. Joey is supposed to be rolling and he won't, Jake won't stop rolling when he is supposed to sit still, and Michaela is going to steam roll over anything and anyone that gets in her way. I just roll my eyes and shake my head. When it's time for bed though and they wrap those sweet little arms around me to give me a great big hug, I don't even care about all the craziness that happened during the day. That moment gives me the strength I need to get through whatever they decide to shell out tomorrow. Just keep those hugs comin' (and a margarita every now and then doesn't hurt!) Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-55566913331094810862013-02-24T12:57:00.001-08:002013-02-24T13:02:39.427-08:00Wardrobe Malfunctions and a Week of GreenAfter all the sickness in the house last week, I was glad to get back to work on Monday. We had inservice and I sat in meetings all day looking at school related data in order to analyze our strengths and weaknesses in different departments and decide where we can go from here...my excitement didn't last long. Since it was an inservice day though, that meant the kids didn't have school and had to go to daycare with Joey. Both Jake and Michaela have been to daycare before and should have known what to expect, but they hadn't been to this one so they were speculating and actually got a little nervous about going. At one point Michaela was whining about being in a room with babies and there would be only baby toys and little kids and there would be nothing for her to do all day. I had to reassure her that there would, in fact, be big kids there and activities for them to play. It turned out fine and they both had a great time. Michaela even made some new friends! <br />
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This was the third Monday of the month and this was one of the weeks that the Brownie troop was supposed to meet. I had forgotten about two meetings already so I made a special point to remember this one so Michaela could get back into Girl Scouts, I had even set an alarm on my phone. So instead of going straight home, we stopped at the church where they meet. It was 5:45 and they were supposed to meet at 6:00 so we waited. It doesn't sound too bad at first but I didn't mention that it was raining like Noah had just finished the last nails and it was like 40 degrees out. After I parked the truck, we sat inside for a few minutes but it was already starting to fog over and get cold so I thought we should try to go inside the gym of the church to wait. I had my umbrella in the front seat and I got it out and open before I opened the baby's door. Jake and Michaela got out the other side and ran off in the opposite direction of the gym. I had to hold the umbrella in the crook of my elbow because I had to use both hands to get the baby carrier out and the wind was blowing, I almost lost the umbrella completely. I yelled at the big kids to come back this way and we went up to the church just to find the doors locked. So we headed back to the truck. I had to fight with the umbrella again to get the carrier back inside and when I closed it, all the water ran off the top and right on my head. I remembered why I don't usually use umbrellas. I think I got more wet than if I had just walked quickly without the umbrella. We waited in the car until about 6:05. I didn't have the leader's phone number and Michaela was a little worried about staying in the storm anyway so we went home. I guess Brownie's was not meant to be this year. We certainly aren't having any luck getting started.<br />
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When we finally got home, I noticed Joey seemed warm so I took his temperture and he was sick. I had meetings with the principal and Superintendent of Secondary Education Tuesday morning and couldn't stay home so Ed did, even though he had to go to work in the afternoon. I rushed to get ready and get to work Tuesday so I could take care of some paperwork before the meetings and called the pediatrician's office as soon as they opened to get Joey in to see the doctor before Ed had to go to work. They don't open until 8:00 so I called about 8:05 and the only thing they had before 1:00pm was in 10 minutes. So I called Ed and had him rush Joey to the office. Poor baby had two ear infections! They gave him some antibiotics and wanted to see him again in two weeks. I left school as soon as I could to pick up the baby from Ed's work then I had to go to my doctor's appointment. At the doctor's office, everybody loved seeing the baby, they all thought he was just adorable. The nurse even held him and fed him a bottle while I went to use the restroom. I discovered in the bathroom that with the morning's craziness, I had accidentally put my underwear on inside out! (And no, I wasn't trying to get two days out of them.) I will have to pay better attention to avoid future, possibly more embarrassing, wardrobe difficulties. So after I saw the doctor, Joey and I picked up the big kids and went home. <br />
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Jake was super excited when I picked him up because he got a green at school that day. I was so happy for him but you have to realize that "greens" are few and far between for Jake and usually there is some kind of anomoly when he gets one so I asked him if his teacher had been there or if there was a substitute. I shouldn't have asked, there was a sub. But I was still excited for him and we congratulated him and told him how proud we were. We have been using video games to "motivate" him to behave at school lately and it has helped a little. For each green, he earns one mission on his games over the weekend. We don't let him play during the week though, there isn't time between getting home at 6:00 and eating supper, doing homework, taking baths. We don't need any more distractions. Baby Joe was feeling better Tuesday night and Wednesday, everybody went back to school and work as normal. I picked up the kids after school Wednesday and, wonder of wonders, Jake got a green again, and his regular classroom teacher was there! No twirling, no undressing and redressing, no shouting out in class, she even drew a smiley face on the chart for Wednesday next to the green mark! It was like winning the lottery, or it felt like the same odds anyway. So I fixed Jake's choice for dinner that night. We have been trying to teach the kids to eat at least a little of whatever is fixed for them whether they like it or not for a couple of reasons. First if I go to the trouble of making something, they should eat it and I shouldn't have to make multiple meals every night for every family member. Second if they are eating at someone else's house (I know, not likely these little monsters will get invited to eat with other people, but just in case...) it is rude not to eat what is served. Anyway, in light of her "training" Michaela made a little speech at the table. "Mommy, thank you for making dinner for us. Daddy told me I have to eat some of it and I will eat a little bit, but I don't like this and I'm going to make myself a sandwich afterwards." It's a step in the right direction but we have a little ways to go in the execution. What really made me mad was that she hadn't even tasted it yet. When I pointed that out to her she got mad and went crazy, she screamed that we never think she does anything right and stomped off to her room where she slammed the door. That's the Michaela we know and love. She finally did come out a little later and ate. Turned out she liked it after all and asked for more. <br />
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Thursday Jake got a third green in a row! I started to worry about the delicate climate balance in Hell. We were all so proud of him and he had earned three missions on the video games for the week. He wanted to play one that night but I wouldn't let him, no games during the week. He only fussed a little about doing his homework and he got it done quickly, both pages! He really had a great week and I am so excited for him, he is really making progress. We don't usually go anywhere in the evenings so as soon as we get home, Ed and I both change into comfy clothes like a tshirt and pajama pants. Super elegant. We ordered pizza for supper since Jake had been asking for it all week and we watched TV waiting for it to get here. Michaela, however, didn't like what we were watching so she took her Kindle to her room to watch by herself. By the time the pizza got here, she was asleep so the rest of us ate and left hers in the box. We had ordered the pizza sliders from Pizza Hut and she had three sausage sliders waiting on the table for her to come and eat if she woke up (we learned a long time ago not to wake her, it's better to just let her miss supper)...until Petey, our cat, noticed the smell of food. He knocked the box off the table and all three fell on the floor so he helped himself. "You snooze, you lose" seems to be particularly appropriate here. So Ed got up to clean up the floor and when he came back and went to sit down, I noticed the back seam of his pajama pants was completely ripped out. Forget the barn door being open, the whole back wall had fallen down!! "Honey, you have a huge hole in the butt of those pants." "These are my favorite pants!" They must have split when he bent down or the last time he wore them. He was so sad. He has another pair just like them but I guess I'll have to get him some more. Maybe a size bigger.<br />
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After Eddie changed pants we watched a little TV then I went to bed a little early. Joey hadn't gotten his medicine yet so I asked Ed to give it to him before putting him down for the night. Ed needs to go to the eye doctor but refuses, so he can't read the instructions on the medicine bottles and he had to ask me how much Joey needed. (This is just one of the many reasons I tell people I have FOUR kids...) I told him 1/2 a teaspoon. He said, "ok, a tablespoon", and I said, "no, a TEAspoon." Well, in the process of correcting his joke, he misinterpreted or misheard, or somehow missed what I said. He gave Joey a full teaspoon of antibiotic. Thank God it wasn't Tylenol or ibuprofen. He gave Joey two double doses before I noticed Saturday morning. I was holding the baby and asked Ed to get his medicine. He brought me the dropper and I said "you realize this is way over 1/2 a teaspoon don't you?" Ed: "What do you mean HALF a teaspoon, you told me it was a whole teaspoon!" Me: "No I told you 1/2." Ed: "You said a teaspoon." Me: "I did NOT say 'a teaspoon'. Why would I say a teaspoon when I know it's a 1/2 teaspoon. You are just mad that you can't read and are trying to blame this on me!" Jackass. It wasn't even a whole teaspoon in the dropper. Looking back, I bet he thought I was saying ONE teaspoon when I had to correct him saying a tablespoon. Either way, it's his own fault. If he'd just get his eyes checked he wouldn't have to ask me in the first place.<br />
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Friday morning, the kids got up extra early and got dressed right away because they wanted Ed to take them to McDonald's for breakfast before they went to school. Jake had been so good this week and they were so sweet that morning, ready to go by 6:30!, so Ed agreed and got up to take them to breakfast. They left for school and I was finishing packing up the baby when my phone rang. It was Ed and I couldn't imagine what he wanted, I was afraid something was wrong. When I answered, Ed asked if I had left yet. I said no and he asked if I would bring Jake a shirt. "What do you mean bring Jake a shirt? What kind of shirt?" The kids have to wear specific uniforms to school but on Fridays they can wear jeans with their Baker tshirts. I thought maybe Jake had worn a regular shirt, or maybe Ed was confused and thought he needed a polo instead of his Baker tee. No, it wasn't any of that. Jake had been so excited to get dressed and eat breakfast at McDonald's he hadn't changed his shirt at all. He was still wearing his batman pajama top! Fortunately, I had planned to run through McDonald's for breakfast anyway (I love their oatmeal! One of the ladies I work with calls it "crack" oatmeal. It's REALLY good!) so I brought the kid one of his uniform shirts and met Ed in the parking lot. Jake and Michaela were in the booth at the window banging and waving at me. They left dirty handprints all over the window but I decided to look on the bright side, at least it wasn't cheek, face, or tongue prints. This time. I got my food in the drive thru and went to work to eat.<br />
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That night, Joey had another episode of his exploding poo. I chalk this one up to the overdose of antibiotics... I went to change his jammies and he was almost out of clean sleepers. Michaela brought me the last clean one in the drawer, such a good helper, and I changed the baby. Now, he had worn these jammies just last week and they were just fine but Friday night when I put them on him, they were so short, he couldn't even straighten his legs! I knew he was hitting a growth spurt, he had been eating more formula more often all week but I had no idea he was growing so fast! So I put him in a onsie and a blanket sleeper, the kind that is like a sack, so he would be warm and decided I would have to buy him some bigger jammies at the store over the weekend. I found three new pairs of pajamas for Joey at Walmart Saturday morning. Unfortunately, there weren't any of Ed's jammie pants. I got them at Kohl's originally so I'll have to check there later. <br />
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Crazy enough, Michaela is the only one in the family that didn't have clothing issues this week, she used to be the one that had them all the time. I remember when she was in first grade, we had to start checking her backpack every morning before she went to school because we found out she was going to the bathroom after she got to school and changing clothes. She had a sundress that she had outgrown and she liked to take it and wear it as a skirt with a shirt over it. One day, she convinced Ed to let her wear a button down cardigan with no shirt underneath. It looked terrible and I had to explain to Ed that if he felt it was "not quite right" he shouldn't let a six-year-old talk him into it. I'm thankful now for the uniform policy at their new gradeschool. It alleviates some of these problems! We obviously can't escape all of the trials of modern fashion but with better attention and planning, maybe we can at least prevent future clothing "accidents" in the busy-ness of day to day life!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-41585760573004805952013-02-17T14:24:00.002-08:002013-02-17T14:24:48.887-08:00Just Get the Carpet CleanerThis week started off way too early with the monkey wrench that derails even the best, most organized moms...a stomach bug. No matter how well you plan your time and organize your childrens' routines, there is nothing you can do to account for the appearance of this nightmare that frankly sends my world into a tailspin. And not being anywhere near "routine" and "organized" it wreaks havoc in our family. We had had a decent weekend with lots of TV, video games, reading, and just general lounging about. Not much had been accomplished (not unusual) but it was nice to just sit around together. Everything was fine when we all went to bed Sunday night, then about 2:00 Monday morning, I woke up to Michaela screaming "Mommy!". Half asleep, I jumped out of bed and nearly broke my neck trying to find out what was the matter, I was wishing we had done less "lounging" and more picking up. When I got to the kids' bathroom, she was leaning over the toilet holding her hair in a ponytail. Ok, no explanation needed. I got her a cup of water to rinse her mouth and rubbed her back for a few minutes before sending her back to bed. I guess that's the good thing about throwing up, if there is one, that you feel pretty good afterwards and she was able to go right back to sleep. I laid awake for a while before I could get back to sleep and it seemed like I had jsut closed my eyes when she called for me again. We repeated the routine around 3 or 4 times so when my alarm went off at 5:30 I was tired, cranky, and not inclined to get up. But I did.<br />
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Obviously Michaela had to stay home from school Monday but I was not so lucky. I am a math coach at a high school and I had to teach a class for another teacher to observe during first period. We are on block schedule so first period is from 9:00 to 10:30. Ed got the honor of staying home with Michaela Monday morning and I would come home for the afternoon. I went to work, Jake went to school and Ed, Michaela and Joey stayed home. I was already not 100% because I had been fighting sinus congestion for the last couple of weeks but I took some sinus medicine and some cough drops and pushed through...as many people with responsibilities do. I taught 1st period a little groggy (there were a couple of times the students had to help remind me that 3 times 5 is 15, not 8) I met with some of my supervisors from the district office to discuss the lesson, and about noon I checked out to go home. I was SO ready to get home and take a nap.<br />
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As I left school, I checked my email and wished I hadn't. Jake's teacher had sent me a message with the subject, "behavior this morning". This can't be good. Can't this child just do what he is supposed to do? How hard is it really to sit down and do what the teacher tells you!? Apparently it's incredibly difficult because he had "REFUSED" to write his spelling words and then tore his paper. When the student intern told him he could still use the paper to write his words, the little turd tore it even more. I think I would have lost it at that point. When the teacher got to him and asked him why he wouldn't do his words, all he would say is that he was tired. I know he doesn't like to do his work. It takes us an hour to get him to write three homework sentences in the evening. He cries and screams, "It's too hard! I don't know how to write a sentence! I can't spell that word!" It takes him about 10 minutes to actually do the homework and another 50 minutes to make a Broadway-style production of it. We are going to have to start stage-lighting the dining room table so he has a proper setting for these little performances. It makes me cringe to imagine him throwing these fits at school, his teacher must think we are terrible parents. Or that he deserves an Oscar. He had to miss his recess to write the words that he said he was too tired to do earlier. He is already on the last step of the school's discipline management plan and I honestly don't know what happens after that last step but I assume it must be bad. At the high school level, they get a referral to the principal but Jake has already had to go talk to her a couple of times. I really hope he doesn't get suspended from Kindergarten. His tantrums may be stage-worthy but I don't think we are ready for the Hollywood lifestyle if he gets kicked out of school and has to try to make it big in showbiz. When I got home, I had barely changed my clothes when Jake's school called. Of course my first thought is that he HAS been suspended and they are calling for me to immediately come and pick him up before he causes any more disruption and disorder in the classroom. I started thinking about what shows he could audition for. "This is the nurse at Baker. Jake came into my office complaining about his stomach and he just threw up a large amount. His teacher sent him down because he was laying on the floor holding his stomach and crying that his stomach hurt." Yep, that's usually a pretty good clue that something is wrong. And then I got caught up in the fact that he threw up a "large amount". I was on my way at "threw up" but I guess as a school nurse you learn phrases that need to be emphasized to parents to get your point across when mom or dad don't want to hear what you are saying. It kind of reminds me of the warnings on McDonald's coffee cups, "Caution: Contents may be hot". Or on the new car ad where the car drives off the cliff and proceeds to fly across the water, "Cars don't really fly". That's too bad because I was sold! I wanted that flying car and I was on my way to the dealership right after I chugged some coffee. Anyway, I guess some parents don't want to come pick up their kid if they just throw up a little. Somebody must have said something that made her realize at some point that she needed to tell me he threw up a lot so I would know I needed to come and get him. I brought him home and he went to bed, obviously sick. I still wasn't feeling well and it was already almost 2:00 so Ed just stayed home. <br />
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The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful until it was almost time to go to bed. Jake hadn't thrown up anymore so I thought maybe he didn't have it as bad as Michaela did. She was feeling better, I was getting ready for bed, and Ed was watching TV when Jake woke up feeling sick again. He was in his bed and I guess he tried to get up to go to the bathroom but he didn't quite make it, not even close actually. He came running out to the kitchen instead and went to the trashcan. He threw up a little into the trash and then cried that he had thrown up on his floor. I took him to the bathroom to clean him up and told him he needed to go straight to the toilet if he needed to throw up. I don't know why he ran to the kitchen trashcan. Ed went to check out his floor and found that he had gotten it on his bedding too. He has a loft bed so when he went to climb down he was on the ladder facing the bed and he started to throw up. It was all across the foot of his bed and there was a big puddle next to the ladder on the floor. Ed pulled the bedding off and put it in the washer while I got out the carpet spot-cleaner and cleaned up the floor. We got a clean comforter, made Jake a bed on the couch, and made sure to put a trash can next to him just in case. He made it through the night without throwing up again but he peed on the couch instead. Figures. Thank goodness the carpet cleaner does upholstery too.<br />
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I woke up sick about 2am on Tuesday so all of us stayed home and I slept until the middle of the afternoon. The stomach bug lowered my resistance enough to let the sinus problem take a good hold and I woke up with a pounding headache and sore throat, my head felt huge. I had to get up and help with the kids for a while though because Ed was exhausted from taking care of everyone. He went to get some gatorade and then took a nap. I laid on the couch. The kids felt fine and played with thier kindles. They both have a Kindle Fire with maybe three books between them but TONS of games so they don't read, they play. Ed got back up in time to feed the baby because I was trying to stay away from him so he wouldn't get sick. After Joey was done with his bottle Ed asked me for a burp cloth because he thought Joey had spit up or gotten milk on his back, he was wet. When I looked at him though, the wetness was isolated in the middle of his back which meant it had come out of his diaper, not over his shoulder. Joey had pooped and it went out the top of his diaper and all up his back inside of his onesie! Ed tried to change his diaper but it was everywhere. Ed had to maneuver him out of his clothes carefully so he didn't get poop all over Joey's hair. The onsie was just about too small anyway so it went in the trash. The wipes weren't going to cut it and I was tempted to get out the carpet cleaner but we decided on the bath tub. I think the noise of the carpet cleaner might have scared Joey.<br />
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Wednesday was pretty uneventful but then Thursday Jake had a doctor's appointment after school and it was a different story. Ed couldn't go so I had to leave work early, pick up Joey, go get the big kids, and haul everybody downtown to the doctor's office. It's at the children's hospital and the campus is huge and all spread out so I got lost. I parked next to where I thought it was and got all three kids out of the car. We started walking toward the building but about halfway there, I realized we were in the wrong place so I called the office. The secretary said we were about three blocks away so I loaded the monsters back in the car and drove to the right parking lot. We headed up to the office and I walked up to the desk. There were two secretaries and one smiled and said she'd check us in. I assumed she was the one we talked to but I told her our name again anyway, just in case. Then I asked which waiting room to go to and she sent us to the one on the left. We went and sat, and sat, and sat. The kids were actually being pretty good at first. They were taking turns playing on my phone. But then they started fighting over it. I had to tell Michaela not to climb over the back of the chairs. She wanted to sit in the window and draw the "view". Then it was her turn to play on my phone and Jake started climbing in the window. There's a reason I call them monkeys. I have no sense of time but it seemed like we had been there a long time. Of course it usually seems that way when I have two crazies taking turns standing on chairs, stealing my phone, and yelling "mom, it's MY turn!". I was able to pry the phone away from the children long enough to check the time and we had been waiting over half an hour. There's a sign that says to let them know if you are waiting more that 15 minutes so I went to tell them and found out that they had never checked us in in the first place. AND we were in the wrong waiting room. The doctor thought we hadn't shown up so he went home. We had to reschedule (he wasn't available again at that time until March 7th) and we went home. I don't know if it was the 45 minutes of fighting with the kids, the hour early that I had to leave work when I had a ton of stuff to get done, or the half a tank of gas I wasted driving to Egypt and back but I was mad. I called Ed and told him the sooner he could get home the better. Being concerned for the childrens' health, he hurried home and we went to my favorite restaraunt for dinner so I didn't have to cook. It was Valentine's Day after all.<br />
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I had wanted to send Ed some chocolate covered strawberries for Valentine's Day. I had heard ads on the radio and tv for "Shari's Berries". I kept meaning to order them but I'm sure you can tell how my days tend to get a little distracting. I finally snuck my phone into the bedroom Wednesday night to order them but by then it was too late to have them delivered on Thursday so Ed got his strawberries on Friday. It was better late than never and nothing new in our family. He would be surprised that he got anything at all, I'm usually really bad about giving gifts. It's not that I don't want to give him anything, I just don't know what to get and I don't have time to go shopping so it sneaks up on me and I end up without a gift for him. I was really excited that I had sent him something, even if it was late! So I had a tracking service send me an email when they were delivered. I was hoping he would call me when he got them because I was really excited to find out if he liked them or not and if he was surprised. But he didn't call. So finally I called him when I picked up the baby from daycare. Ed had a bad day at work so I guessed maybe that was why he didn't call but he still didn't say anything about the strawberries so I asked if he got a delivery at work. He said yes but then kept telling me about his day and all the stuff that went wrong. Are you kidding me? I get that he had a bad day but he could at least say thank you or that he liked them or that they were terrible, say SOMETHING! Whatever, I finally just asked what he wanted to do for supper. He said anything sounded fine because he hadn't eaten and was starving. I said, "Well, at least you have some strawberries" and he didn't know what I was talking about. "You said you got the delivery today." Apparently, he thought it was something he had ordered for work and hadn't bothered to go check the mail room to see what it was. So much for surprises. But again, that's typical for us. Valentine's Day hasn't been our best experience. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read my first post, it will give you an idea. Wouldn't want to break tradition! I tried the strawberries when he got home and they were great! I should have ordered myself some.<br />
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So to make up for some of the stuff at work this week, Ed is working all weekend again. I did a bunch of cleaning yesterday morning. Wouldn't want a repeat of last Sunday night, at least if I go running through the house in the middle of the night I won't fall over all the junk laying around. Then I took all three kids grocery shopping. Michaela and Jake only ran out in front of three different customers and a lady on one of those motorized chairs almost backed into Joey. Her kid kept saying "Mom, be careful, there was a baby in that cart. You almost hit that cart with a baby in it!" Jake and Michaela had run down the next aisle and I was too busy trying to tell them to get up off the floor to worry about that lady. We picked up McDonald's on the way home and I told the kids they had to help carry the groceries up before we ate. Jake started screaming, "But I'm so hungry! My stomach hurts and it's too hard to carry the groceries! It hurts my hands!" I said he could carry them up the stairs and Michaela and I would bring them from the truck to the door. He just sat on the stairs and cried. Then he threw himself down on the steps and screamed some more. And the Oscar goes to... I have a flashback to homework night. I finally told him if he didn't help carry the groceries up I was going to throw his McDonald's in the trash so he finally carried some of the bags upstairs. I almost wished I HAD thrown the McDonald's in the trash though because when he finally opened his happy meal they had given him a girl toy and he started crying again. I just can't win sometimes. <br />
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So, today we have just been taking it easy, sort of. Joey had another "explosion" and I had to give him a bath again. This time the PJs were fairly new so I rinsed them out and threw them in the washer. Jake and Michaela have been pretty quiet, only screaming at each other or throwing things occasionally. I had to fuss at Jake for putting his feet on top of my rocking chair because he was doing hand stands. Michaela was screaming at Jake about getting pee on the bathroom floor by her shirt and he was screaming at her that he didn't do it. I asked her why her shirt was on the bathroom floor in the first place. She said she left it on the floor because she had blood on it from a bloody nose this morning. Oh, of course, I should have known. Apparently she somehow hit her nose on the ladder of her bed this morning. Lord knows what she was doing that she managed to hit her nose on her ladder I wasn't going to even ask. I told Jake if he peed on the bathroom floor, he needed to clean it up not leave it there for someone to step in later. I bet the carpet cleaner would work on bathroom floors too. <br />
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It occurs to me that all of this might be somewhat alarming to some people. I wonder sometimes if I'm too complacent as a parent but I think if I worried about all of this stuff everytime it happened, I'd be digging myself an early grave. Anyway, it's all just typical in our family! We are definitely not suitable for the faint of heart. People think I'm kidding when I tell them I go to work to get away...I'm going to start giving them this blog address.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-86882383877506598052013-02-09T15:38:00.000-08:002013-02-09T15:38:02.776-08:00Whammies, Nose Rocks, and Beating the AR SystemI was dreading last weekend because I had several assignments due for my last class in my master's degree program and I would be home alone with the kids. I am two weeks away from finished and I can't begin to describe how anxious I am to be done. Working when I was all by myself with the three little monsters was not going to be easy. The worst part though would be getting groceries while dragging and fighting all of them through the store without being turned in for child abuse. I decided that rather than risk taking the three monkeys out in public by myself, I would just skip groceries and stay home. So Saturday I spent all day working on homework while the kids played on their Kindles. I felt bad about it but they were happy and I got my work done. And it was somewhat entertaining to watch them. Every now and then I would look over to see what they were playing or doing. At one point, Michaela had the Kindle propped against the frame of the bedroom door, she was standing on her head in an upside-down sitting position with her knees also against the door frame. She was sucking her thumb and watching a show on the Kindle. Jake was kneeling leaning against the couch cushions watching the Kindle in the seat and he was kicking his feet like he was swimming. Then I caught Michaela watching TV this morning with her feet sticking up the back of the recliner and her head hanging down on the ground. Maybe spending so much time upside down is what gives her those crazy ideas. These two just don't do normal. Anyway, I did feel bad about letting them rot in front of a digital screen all day on Saturday so I thought maybe we would venture out Sunday afternoon after all. I could get just a few groceries and I needed a new phone. (Okay, needed/wanted, what's the REAL difference?) Michaela was already mad at me because we skipped church. I just couldn't see it going well. I think yelling and cursing at kids in the sanctuary is frowned upon. So she was really excited when I told them we were running some errands. Jake, however, was less than pleased. He started yelling and screaming that he didn't want to run errands, he hated errands, and he wasn't going. I proceeded to tell him that yes, he WAS going and to quit screaming and get in the shower before I had to put him in there. Ten minutes, lots of tears, and some soaked clothes later, Jake took his shower. This was not off to a good start.<br />
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Finally we were all dressed and ready to go and we headed out. I had to run by Staples first because I needed a couple of things for my new job I was starting on Monday. I warned the kids that they would not be crazy in the store or we would go home. If they were good, we would stop and McDonalds and get a treat on the way home. We got inside and Michaela spotted the paper and some art supplies. I thought they were going to lose the treat at the first stop. She insisted that if she didn't get some paper and art stuff she would "lose it". I reminded her that they had agreed to no crazy in the stores. "But it's ART SUPPLIES!" All wide-eyed and pulling on my arm. "That's one. Two more and no McDonalds." She settled down and I got what I needed. We were on our way to the checkout when she saw the package of pencil grips and erasers. Apparently the wooden pencils she uses are scientifically engineered to create bone defects and skin abrasions on children's fingers and after normal use in kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grades, now in 3rd grade she is experiencing intolerable symptoms which she had not thought to complain about until that second in Staples when faced with the obvious solution to her problem. She simply HAD to have the package of pencil grips and erasers or she would never be able to write again. Thank goodness it only cost me $4.00 to save my poor child from a lifetime of pencil-induced finger pain and deformity. It was a small price to pay to get out of the store with so little incident. <br />
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Then we went to Best Buy. They were really pretty good so far and I REALLY wanted a new phone. If they misbehaved here, I could always skip the grocery store. We didn't need milk and bread that badly, we could do without for this week if we had to...but I needed my phone. And I was pretty sure about what I wanted. It was either going to be an iphone or a Samsung Galaxy. So before we went in I reminded the kids about McDonalds and let them take in a toy. Jake had a transformer and Michaela had a notebook and a sharpie. I was a little scared of letting her take a sharpie into a store but it was Best Buy, what could she really write on anyway besides boxes? (I know what you are thinking but thank God, she didn't write on any merchandise! Believe me, I kept one eye on her the whole time we were in there.) We went to the phone section and I told them they were not allowed to leave that section or we would go home and I would be VERY angry. And nobody likes it when mommy is angry. Apparently they really don't like it when mommy is angry because again, they behaved! I was beginning to think someone had traded my kids for these two that didn't act like wild animals. Even baby Joey was being agreeable. He didn't cry once the whole time we were out. I talked with the salesguy and after some very well-thought out questions and serious comparison of the two phones, I decided on the Samsung. Actually it won out because it was on sale and I could get it free while the iphone 4S would be $100. Since they were pretty comparable otherwise it wasn't that hard of a decision! So I was sitting at the table while the guy activated my phone, transferred my contacts, blah, blah, blah, and Michaela brings me a little square of paper she has drawn on. "This is the phone Jake wants. Be sure and ring that up too." Um, ok. Then she tears out another piece of paper and folds it and starts drawing. "I want this computer too. Make sure you get both of these when you pay." Ok Michaela. In the meantime, Joey is sitting in his carrier on the floor cooing and laughing and I look over and this other salesguy is talking to him and making goofy faces at him. The kid looks up at me and raises his eyebrow. I swear it was like he was saying, "Mom, check this guy out. What the heck is he doing?" I couldn't help but laugh. Right behind me, Jake starts talking to this lady who's waiting to be helped. He starts telling her all about his transformer and then about the "phone" his sister drew for him and how he was going to use it to call daddy because he was at work. I'm sure the lady thought we were all nuts. But they didn't fight, scream, or disappear once so I counted it as a win! I got my phone and we left, all of their merchandise, fixtures, and salespeople still in tact. Score. So we headed to Walmart.<br />
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I almost went home instead. I had such good luck with them so far and I knew I should quit while I was ahead, but I decided to press my luck. Remember that game show "Press Your Luck" with the Whammies? Yeah, I wouldn't have won that game. We got to the parking lot and Jake started in, "I don't wanna go to Walmart, my legs are tired, it's too much walking, I wanna go home!" Fine. Jake sit in the back of the cart. We weren't getting many groceries anyway so he wouldn't be in the way. Then Michaela started. "I wish I could sit in the cart. I don't wanna walk either." I can't fit three kids in the stupid cart. Besides, she's almost nine years old. "Michaela, you don't need to ride in the cart." "Can I at least stand on the side while you push it?" "No, you can walk next to me and quit complaining!" "But Mommy, I'm tired too!" "That's two." She folded her arms and pouted while she stomped along beside me. Good enough, she wasn't griping. So we got the few things we couldn't live without for the week and went to the checkout. Jake had to go to the bathroom. Now I don't think I've mentioned it before but when Jake says he has to go the bathroom, you don't waste any time getting him there. He has a bad habit of waiting til the last possible second and then it's a race to see if he makes it or not. Sometimes I think he does it as a fun little game. I could see the bathrooms from where I was in line so I sent him by himself with strict instructions, straight there, flush, wash your hands, straight back. That probably would have been fine but then I sent Michaela to wait for him outside the bathroom so he wouldn't get distracted when he came out. I see him walk out of the men's room and she grabs him and shoves him back in. I guess maybe he didn't wash his hands? Then he comes out again and she grabs him and drags him into the women's room. I can hear them yelling at each other. I can't tell though if they are laughing or fighting. The clerk is talking to me and I keep looking over her shoulder waiting for them to come out and she's oblivious talking about working two jobs or something. I was just about to go over there and drag them both out when they both come running out. Jake is chasing Michaela and she stops and turns around to tell him something then she runs over to me. Both are laughing and I'm almost done checking out and the lady says "Oh, I thought you were here by yourself!" I kinda thought the infant carrier was a giveaway but maybe she meant besides the baby. Then the big kids ran off again. This time they headed towards the door and into the cubby store by the entrance. (You know where they have like a vision center or picture place...) I finished paying and headed that way. This sales cubby had shower stalls. Not something I would go to Walmart to purchase but whatever. Jake and Michaela were nowhere to be seen. There was just a salesguy sitting at a desk at the back trying not to pay attention. Then I heard one of the doors rattling. I could see a very blurry Jake stuck in the shower stall, now banging on the door trying to get out. Michaela then popped up from behind a half door in another stall pointing and laughing at him. "Michaela, go open the door so your brother can get out of the shower displays!" Another one of the many things I never thought I would say. I'm pretty sure the salesguy was hiding at the desk laughing but I've been enough places with these two, it doesn't bother me anymore. It's not like I'll ever see him again anyway. They did good enough, we would get their treat at McDonalds.<br />
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So we get out to the truck and Jake's face is bleeding. Apparently while they were using Walmart as their own personal playground Michaela had accidentally scratched the top off of a war wound Jake had sustained two days before at school. He had scraped up the entire right side of his face last Friday at extended day. He was outside on the playground and he was running somewhere when he tripped, SMACK! Unfortunately, he fell face-first into the gravel and cut up the whole side of his face. His cheek was all scraped halfway up to his eye, his lips were torn up and peeling and he even cut the inside of his mouth on his teeth when he fell. Michaela saw him fall and came over to help him up. She apparently noticed there was a rock stuck in his nose so as he's crying and bleeding, she starts squeezing his nose and trying to slide the rock out. The rock is cutting up the inside of his nose because she is squeezing it so he is crying and fighting with her but apparently it is a priority for her to get the rock out because she forced him to sit still while she removed it. We've had problems before with Michaela and rocks in other people's noses but that time she was putting them IN not trying to get them out. I have no idea how she got that first child to sit still or agree to having rocks put in his nose, but there is a lot I don't understand about Michaela. We must have made it clear enough at that time that rocks don't belong in noses though becuase she made sure Jake got his out right away. Anyway, so now Jake has scratches and scabs all over the side of his face. It is healing pretty well and really wouldn't be a big deal but of course, they had pictures this week. We have a picture of Jake when he was about a year and a half and his nose is all scratched up. When he was two, we have a picture that was taken right before he knocked his front tooth out so we refer to it as the last picture with all of his teeth. And now we will have a picture of the scab on his cheek to commemorate the incident with the rock up his nose. Hopefully we won't have "the last picture with all four limbs" or "the one with the eye patch". But with Jake and Michaela, we never know. <br />
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Someone from the school tried to call me when Jake fell but I couldn't answer my phone because I was teaching. I wasn't real anxious to answer it anyway because I figured it had something to do with his behavior. He has had a really bad case of the wiggles this year and we are constantly having to talk with him about how to behave at school. He is even seeing the counselor who may be evaluating him for ADHD. I got an email from his teacher the other morning that he was having a really bad day. He wouldn't sit still, he was taking his shirt and his shoes off and putting them back on, he was patting his cheeks, and slapping his legs. The teacher had to pull him off of the teaching carpet and sit him in the corner so she could continue the lesson. When I asked him later what his problem was he whined that he was itchy. I have no idea what to do with him. He got a green (really good) on Monday with a note that he was "still very very wriggly but manageable." He didn't do so well at lunch though because Friday, the note that came home said Jake has an assigned seat at lunch from now until he learns how to control himself. He claims that Lilliana was talking to him but I'm inclined to believe it was more than that. Already getting into trouble over girls. One day he had been crawling on the floor in the lunchroom under the tables. I think the child just can't sit still and control the urge to do whatever jumps into his crazy little mind! Impulse control is not a strong point but that seems to be genetic. (I HAD to have a new phone bad enough to take these kids out in public...) I think this is a lot of Michaela's issue too.<br />
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Michaela usually does pretty well behavior-wise at school. She just has little "slips" here and there. I think her teachers dismiss it most of the time because it seems to be random bad decisions but I see patterns in some of the things she is doing. I'm kind of concerned about this one particular strand of events. She is really good at being sneaky and lying. I don't like all of this dishonesty and forethought that goes into some of her activities. She almost always gets a green at school but the other day she came home with a yellow. She said she got her color changed for cheating on an AR test. I know AR is used in schools across the country but for those of you not priveledged enough to have a child working on AR it stands for Accelerated Reader. It doesn't have anything to do with being accelerated though, the kids read books and then log in to the computer and take tests over them and it evaluates their reading comprehension. At both of Michaela's schools, she has had AR goals and she hates it! She is not alone, I have a good friend in Texas whose son claimed at the beginning of this school year that "AR is ruining his life!" (Heather, I feel your pain and I think I am glad that Michaela and Ethan are in different states. If the two of them ever thought to work together, I think we would be in deep trouble!) We have fought and fought with Michaela about taking her AR tests and she even lost a birthday party one year because she refused to take the tests when she was supposed to. Well this year she has been taking a TON of them. She is only half way through the nine weeks and she has passed her goal for the quarter. Come to find out, she and a friend were both reading a book and then when they took the tests, they would tell each other the answers so they could get credit for both books after only reading one. Until they got caught. This isn't the only time Michaela has found a way around the rules. When she was in preK she was in trouble ALL the time (like Jake is now) and she didn't get very many stars. It took her until mid January before she had almost filled up her first star chart, all the other kids were on their second and third. She only needed five more stars before she got a prize and she came up with the idea that she could put her own stars on the chart and then show her teacher that it was full and her teacher would say, "Now how did that happen?" and Michaela would get her prize. We had to explain to her then that although it was a clever idea, it was cheating and she could not put her own stars on the chart. She also came up with solutions to other kids' problems. She had a friend who got sent to the classroom next door for a time out and she decided she wanted to play with him. So she snuck out and went to the teacher next door and told her that her own teacher had sent her to get the child to come back to their classroom. Her teacher noticed a few minutes later that the kid was somehow back in the room all of a sudden. I don't know about you, but I didn't think of these things when I was 3 or 4. And now she's getting worse. <br />
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We had a box of 60 candy bars that we were supposed to sell for Joey's daycare as a fundraiser. We don't know any neighbors yet and both of us have big changes going on at work so we just paid for the chocolate and I figured we would eat it ourselves. Within one week 50 candy bars were gone. Michaela swears she didn't take them but I know I only had four. We found five wrappers stashed in her room and there's no telling how many she got to school in her back pack. We may have to go back to checking her bag everyday before she leaves. In second grade we had to buy her a clear bag to take to school so we could see everything that was inside. She had been taking clothes to school and changing in the bathroom after she got dropped off. She still found a way to tuck small stuffed animals between folders so that if we didn't search the bag we wouldn't find them. Now she's even conciously trying to avoid police detection! I was taking the three kids to meet Ed for supper one night last week and as we pulled out of the apartment complex, Jake started crying that his seat belt wasn't buckled. There is a light right after the turn and it was red so I told Michaela to unbuckle and help him. She went through this elaborate process to look around first then she unbuckled and crawled down on the floor. She got Jake's seat belt buckled then climbed back into her seat and buckled up. She explained that she had been really careful to look for police first and then she got on the floor so if a cop did drive by he wouldn't see her and would think there were only two children in the truck. Jake was still crying so I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I don't want you to go to jail!" At the time I agreed with him but after more consideration, it might be less stressful there.<br />
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With everything that goes on between Michaela and Jake, I tend to lose focus really easy. I forget to pay attention to other aspects of life because I'm so exhausted from paying constant attention to their antics! This morning, I was making breakfast and I had put coffee on while I fed baby Joey. After I fed and cuddled with him for a while, I decided to make myself some microwave pancakes to go with my coffee. I got a phone call and was talking while I put the pancakes in the microwave then I started fixing my coffee. I sipped the coffee and talked and I heard the microwave going in the background and it didn't occur to me at first that the pancakes only take a minute and 15 seconds to cook. Then I smelled the smoke. I told my friend I'd call her back and hung up on her so I could go tend to the possible fire in the microwave. I panicked and started pushing buttons trying to get it to stop and finally I just opened the door. Smoke came billowing out but no flames thank goodness. (Unlike last summer when I turned the oven on with a plastic plate of brownies inside. I had to throw a cup of water in the oven and spent the next morning scraping "dripping" plastic off the oven rack.) But I could still hear the microwave going and the light was on. I started yelling at Ed that I couldn't get it to turn off, I figured it was still putting out radiation too, and he needed to cut the breaker. He ran to the fuse box and found the breaker while I opened the outside door and started fanning the smoke detectors to get them to stop screaming. Oddly enough, they quit pretty quickly and didn't come back on but when we make toast in the toaster, they go off and keep going off for like 5 minutes. With a room full of smoke though, nothing. I'm not so sure I trust these smoke alarms anymore. Ed turned the breaker back on and the sound started again. He hit a button and it quit. He asked me about it, apparently when I panicked and started pushing buttons, I hit the vent fan. That's what was on, not the actual microwave. We sent the kids outside to sit on the balcony and get some fresh air while the smoke cleared out. Burnt pancakes do NOT smell good. I guess when I started them in the first place I hit an extra button so it was way too much time for the pancakes. I had to text my friend back to tell her everything was ok and I would call her later. I made me some more pancakes and paid attention this time. <br />
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Sometimes they can be such sweet little angels and I can't help but smile. Sweet baby Joey gets so excited when he wakes up and sees you there to pick him up. He laughs and smiles at me and makes me feel so loved! Of course he also laughs and smiles at the rest of the family, and at the cat, and at football games, and the Big Bang Theory. I approve of his taste in TV. Earlier, Jake was asking for some Hershey's kisses and I gave him some but there were only 3 left. He came back to me and asked for more but I told him there weren't any more. He said "what about the small cylinder ones? We have a lot of those." I looked and he was talking about Tootsie Rolls! I never thought of them as "small, cylinder Hershey's kisses" but I guess I can see it. Then Michaela ran up to me, grabbed my arm, and asked with huge eyes, "Do you know how to make funnel cake?" Me: "No, why?" Michaela (falling to her knees): "I LOVE funnel cake!" Me: "So where did that come from?" Michaela: "Remember, the state fair? It was SO good, crunchy with sugar! Get on your phone and look it up!" She grinned and ran off. My bossy little drama queen. It was so sweet though. Random, but sweet! I almost want to go learn how to make a funnel cake just to see that big sweet smile on her face. As long as it doesn't require a microwave I might have to try it...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-47366180116593998782013-02-03T19:28:00.000-08:002013-02-03T19:29:21.397-08:0011 Years and 12 Super Bowls LaterI wasn't going to write today. It's been a busy, tiring week and I just didn't feel up to it. But then Ed and I were sitting here and I realized that I can't miss an opportunity to put down my thoughts on such a special occasion...<br />
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I'm one of those people who end up doing exactly what they say they absolutely do NOT want to do. It's not that I'm a pushover or liar or one to go back on my word, there are just crazy round-about circumstances that put me unexpectedly right in front of a decision that I have been trying to avoid and I end up doing the right thing against all of my vehement protesting. For example, I have quit education MULTIPLE times and sworn I would never go back. This cycle started clear back in college (I can't believe college was almost 20 years ago) when I was choosing a major. I started out in Engineering and then switched to Education. I subsequently changed my major 12 more times over the next 4 1/2 years before finally graduating with a BS in Secondary Education. Then I started teaching. My first job was at Wichita South High School and I loved the school and the people that I worked with. But it was hard. Teaching is an incredibly difficult profession. It was completely exhausting and I didn't have the emotional strength to keep it up. I left teaching again after two years in the classroom. I went back to grad school to get my PhD in Chemistry. I had been accepted at the University of Kansas and I loved it. I was going to be a doctor and work in a research lab and put my teaching habit behind me. Again after two years, my career path changed. Ed and I had gotten married, had baby Michaela and Ed was going to work for Target as a manager. I decided to try teaching again so that I would have regular hours so we could put Michaela in daycare. It was a very difficult position. I was teaching 6th grade math and I cried everyday on the way to work. This was when I really connected with my faith. Just to get through the day, I would start my commute by listing over and over again all of the blessings in my life and everything I was thankful for. This became a routine and in January when Ed decided to go back into television we moved to Texas (something else I swore I would never do! I told Ed to find a job anywhere BUT Texas. But then I loved it there!) I thanked God that I could quit teaching again. I swore I'd never go back this time. I was going to stay home with Michaela until she started school. Haha, that was a joke! It wasn't two months before I was going CRAZY and started putting out my resume. I was looking at teaching jobs but also at training positions with businesses. I ended up meeting a friend at church who had recently become the principal at a small rural school who needed a math teacher for the next school year. I was hesitant, but I had to get back to work. So I decided to try again. Fortunately, I was older, more mature, and better at time management. That was almost 8 years ago. I have really enjoyed the last 8 years in the classroom. I have connected with many of my students and I feel that I have been able to make a real difference in some of their lives. In spite of my reluctance to teach, I have done the best job I possibly could and it has paid off. <br />
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So after my side trip to grad school, I was left with 19 graduate hours in Chemistry. I had almost finished the coursework that was needed for a masters degree. So close, yet so far. A master's degree in science almost requires full time attendance. I wanted a research degree so I would have to quit my job and go to school full time in order to finish it. I kept hoping that I would be able to finish my degree. Friends and family kept urging me to get my masters degree in education so I could do part or all of it online. I kept refusing. I didn't want to spend all that money for a degree that I didn't want. I wanted to get my master's degree in Chemistry. And here I am two weeks from finishing my master's degree in education. It's not that I dislike education. I have enjoyed learning many of the things from my classes and I have been able to use much of the information in my own classroom. I just kept saying that I wouldn't get my master's in education because I wanted that science degree, and why pay for two? So now I will have my master's degree in Education Administration (a prinicipal's degree no less, there is no way I EVER want to be a principal...I'm sure you can see why it terrifies me to say that!) and I am starting a new job tomorrow as a Math Facilitator at my second new school this year. I'm really excited but a little scared about where this is going.<br />
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Now that I have shared some insight into the way my life works, let me get to the real story for today. Eleven years ago, I was absolutely NOT looking for a relationship. I had gotten married very young, before I even knew who I was and what I wanted. He was a great guy but we weren't meant to be. I had been divorced and got right into a relationship that was so wrong. I went a little wild, making up for time lost in college I guess, but I was enjoying myself. I had no desire to be in a relationship of any kind. I was dating a few different guys, just for company when I met Ed. He was in my hometown for National Guard duty and was at a bar with a couple of friends. I was in town so my mom could do my laundry (remember, making up for college days) and had gone to the same bar with an ex-boyfriend. Ed's older, married friend was dancing with me and asked if I'd be interested in dancing with his friend Ed. I said sure. Just having fun after all, what's the harm. He invited me to go to breakfast with them when the bar closed so I went. We had fun talking about football. We were both K-State fans and the Super Bowl was the next day (later that day really). So he said he'd call me after work so we could watch together. Whatever. When he called me that afternoon, the game was just about to start and I missed his call. For some reason I was having trouble working my phone and I couldn't remember how to call long distance (damn technology). I had tried twice and the call wouldn't go through. I decided I would try one more time then I was done if it didn't work. It did though and I met him an hour later to watch the New England Patriots go on to win their first Super Bowl over St Louis on February 3, 2002. After that, he kept calling me and we kept getting together, and I kept liking him more and more. I also kept insisting that I did not want to be in a relationship. I wasn't ready. He would just smile and say that was ok, he would wait. Even then he was patient with my special brand of crazy. <br />
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I never saw myself with kids either. I couldn't even begin to imagine being a parent. I kept putting it off because I wasn't ready. I was in school or didn't have enough room or couldn't afford it. Truthfully, I was too selfish. I didn't want to have to think of someone else's needs before my own. I prayed to be a better person and for God to give me patience. I got Michaela. Then Jake, and now Joey. So 11 years and 12 Super Bowls later, here I am. Married to Ed, who had the patience to wait out my adamant denial that we were in a relationship. (He claims he liked the challenge.) My three babies teach me how to think of others first and show me how much I can love someone (by the way, it's a little bit more every single day). So whether San Francisco or Baltimore wins, the Super Bowl always reminds me how much I have won, despite the fact I kept trying not to play. <br />
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Looking at how my life works itself out, I need to start insisting that there is no way I would EVER have a million dollars so I REFUSE to buy lottery tickets. Let's see where this goes...<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-6976990155949447642013-01-21T14:15:00.000-08:002013-01-21T15:14:04.718-08:00If Not For the Amazing Pay, I Think I Would QuitSo this week has been pretty typical at our house. It actually started last Friday (the 11th) when I got a call to interview for a position that I wasn't sure I wanted. I am a math and science teacher and I am finishing my Master's degree in Education Administration next month. I have no desire to be an administrator however. Seem crazy? Have you read the previous posts? Anyway, so there was a Math Coach position posted for our district and I really think I would like the position. It deals with curriculum and working with teachers to help them improve instruction (or anything else) in their classroom to increase student achievement. So I would be acting as a resource for teachers and would be able to help many more students than just those enrolled in my classes as a classroom teacher. I've been super excited about the position ever since I learned about it. But it's not at my current campus. Not really a big deal except that I love love love my principal! Did I mention I love my principal? She is so supportive and has great staff development sessions where we actually do something worthwhile and get ideas and even make lessons to take back to our classroom. It is amazing, I've never seen such a thing before. Well, being the INCREDIBLE teacher and candidate that I am, I got offered the job on Wednesday. (Actually I imagine it has more to do with the fact that it is the middle of the year and it's really crazy for someone to switch positions mid-year so I may have been one of a very few candidates...and because I'm so fabulous.) I talked with my principal about it and a lot of friends and family and I decided to take the job. Now I'm really excited about it and I can't wait to get started! I have no idea what to expect but I'll find out soon enough. Or maybe a little later. I really don't know when I'm supposed to start. So just like with everything else, my job situation is a little crazy right now. It's uncomfortable at my current school because I'm leaving and I haven't told hardly anyone yet and I don't want them to feel like I'm deserting them and my students, the main reason I took the job is the chance to affect MORE students and I think I may be able to make a bigger difference with the students at my new campus. It will be interesting to see how this works out. So oddly enough, it's not this job that I'm thinking of quitting!<br />
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The interview for this position was Monday afternoon and I had no idea how long it would be (or where, I couldn't really hear the message she left on my voicemail!) so I had to take a half day Monday and missed my afternoon classes. Then on Tuesday, I had to address a problem at Michaela's school. She had been acting out and Monday morning she threw a huge fit about going to school and so Jake fed the cat for her (her job in the mornings) and he packed her a lunch to help things go a little quicker. She was FURIOUS with him for "doing her jobs" and screamed at him and threatened him. A little over the top I believe. Ed finally got them to school 26 minutes late but she was still crying and upset. So I spent all day Tuesday talking with the teacher, the counselor, the nurse, and the assistant principal to see what I could do to help her and help manage her outbursts. I felt a little better after talking with everyone, they were really understanding. Wednesday, I actually got to go to work all day. I was hoping for a nice normal, routine day. And that was when I got the call offering me the new position. So much for routine. I had that decision to make and I still am torn about it but am focused on being excited for the opportunity. No point in debating it now! <br />
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Thursday morning, I got up and got ready to go to work, packed up the baby in his carrier, and was picking him up to head out the door and he projectile vomitted all over the carrier, his clothes, the floor...you get the idea. He had been coughing and congested for the last several days but mostly right after he ate. I think the formula thickened the drainage in his throat (yuck!) but he got a little worse on Wednesday. We were trying to hold out until Friday because he already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for a check up and there was no fever. As I was cleaning up the aftermath, the pediatrician called asking to move the appointment from 9:20 to 9:50. Tomorrow right? No, not tomorrow, today. Today when I was just walking out the door, when Ed had meetings and work scheduled specifically from 9:00 to 11:00. Today, when I had already missed 1 and 1/2 of the 3 days I should have been at work this week. So I called in. Nevermind the new job, I'll be lucky to keep the old job if I don't go! Fortunately, Joey was ok. No flu, no RSV, no ear infections or pneumonia. Just congestion. Oh, and now immunizations. So Thursday night he ran a fever. Great, AFTER we just went to the doctor. It wasn't high though so I told Ed he was going to have to stay home with Joey tomorrow. I had now missed 2 and 1/2 of the 4 days of work this week. Ed was supposed to meet with new people from a company merger that were concerned about keeping their jobs. I thought having the baby with him might soften the blow for them. I think he ended up rescheduling. <br />
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Finally, the weekend is here! Now I just have to take down the Christmas decorations, vacuum everything, get groceries, put gas in the truck, do the kids' laundry, and plan meals for next week. So what was I looking forward to the weekend for again? Oh well, got started. Made a meal plan for next week and then a grocery list and left for the store. Forgot to take the recycling so it has to wait another week now. Got home and Ed and Jake had played video games the whole time I was gone. I had to ask Ed to help with the Christmas stuff in phases. (I know better than to just ask him to start and finish a task all at once.) It goes something like this-- "Hey on the next commercial break, will you bring the Christmas boxes in so I can get started putting things away?" 15 or 20 minutes after the boxes get in, me: "When this show is over, will you take the ornaments off the tree while I work on putting the other decorations away?" Ed: "I don't know where anything goes." me: "That's why I asked you to do the ornaments. The ones that have boxes (with pictures on them) put in the boxes and the others can just go loose. They all go in this one box. The other stuff all goes in these other boxes." He reluctantly complies. After the ornaments get put in the big box, we watch another show. "After supper will you please put the boxes back out in storage since they are all packed up now?" Notice this has been an all day event that really only took up about 30 minutes. But I've learned and it's done. Not complaining yet. Then there was the tree. The fake tree that is three pieces whose branches are prelit and just fold up against the trunk. The tree that was left standing in front of the window. Empty. So Sunday after church and lunch and a little football, "Ed, since it's halftime, would you please put the tree away. It didn't get taken down yesterday?" Ed: "I'm not gonna do it right now." Me: "Please? I really need to vacuum and I don't want to before you take the tree out because we'll just get all those little needles all over again." Ed: "It will take two minutes. I'll do it later." It did only take about two minutes...when I did it this morning. So finally all the Christmas stuff is put away. And there was very little argument.<br />
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Saturday night after the Christmas tree frustration, Michaela started in. I made chicken enchiladas for supper. They are probably my favorite supper! I made refried beans because Michaela loves them. She ate all of her refried beans and then asked for more, without even touching her enchilada. I told her she had to eat some of the enchilada. With the screaming that ensued our neighbors probably thought I had forced her to eat nails, or dirty socks or the rocks she usually has saved up in her pockets. She wanted to know why I can't make the food that she likes. Oh excuse me queen Michaela, I'll get right on your order. Heaven forbid we eat something that I want to eat...I'm only the one who makes it! So I had spent 45 minutes in the kitchen fixing supper only to be greeted at the table with "Ew, I hate this! I'm not eating it! Can I just have cereal?" No, no you can't have cereal again. Or yogurt, or candy, or ice cream. Call me a bad mom but I think you should eat some variety of food including some meat. She screamed and cried until she lost her kindle for tomorrow. So eat 1/4 of an enchilada or go to bed. Not gonna argue. So she went to bed. After supper, Ed was putting the dishes in the dishwasher (those that wouldn't fit he just left in the sink because our "dish fairy" comes every night to clean the ones that nobody else wants to do) and I asked him to please wipe down the stove and counter afterwards. We have this deal that whoever cooks dinner (usually me because he has to ask how many minutes to put on the microwave to reheat stuff) the other person has to clean up. I do a pretty good job of rinsing and cleaning up as I go but it's hard to do the stove while it's on and the counter tops just get dirty again until the food is all put away. No, apparently that is too much to ask. The stove and counter can not be wiped down because...well I don't know why but he didn't do it. Then he got mad that I hadn't unloaded the clean dishes. Sorry, one more thing to add to my list. I got out the computer and started on my homework (which is code for I surfed the web, checked out facebook, the bank account and anything else I could think of first to avoid starting my homework). Stayed up until after midnight working on a paper for my class.<br />
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Got up Sunday morning hoping for a great day. No school tomorrow, MLK day! Sunday school starts at 9:45 but Michaela is adamant that we have to be there at 8:30 for "breakfast". I finally convinced her that we could get there for the fellowship time (where they have coffee and snacks) about 9:30. Then there was Jake. He was impossible. First he refused to take a shower. The boy was stinky. So I turned on the water for him, got it warmed up, and put him in the shower still in his underpants. He screamed and cried and climbed right out to get undressed. He got back in and cried because the water was getting cold. He had waited so long, he was the last one in the house and was out of hot water, so he didn't get his hair washed but at least he was rinsed off. Then he wouldn't get dressed. It took 20 minutes to get the boy into a shirt and pants! He cried because his new shirt was too small (it wasn't, he just couldn't get his head through because he didn't unbutton it), he cried because he couldn't find his black pants, he cried because he couldn't find his khaki pants, he cried because he couldn't find the shoes he had left down by the front door, he cried because he didn't want to wear the shoes he did find. He got his kindle priveleges revoked for the day too. It's a good thing we were going to church because I needed to pray about their behavior and my lack of patience! We finally got to church and two hours of quiet adult time! I may start going on Wednesdays too. In fact I could use some "church" every day! Seriously though, we hadn't gone much (at all) in 2012 and it is great to be back on a regular basis. After church we got to go out to Cheddar's. We had been trying the last two weeks but one or both kids had melt downs between church and the restaraunt so we had to get something we could eat quick or take home. We finally made it to Cheddar's without incident and had an uneventful lunch, with all three kids, and they all ate their meals! It really was a post-Christmas miracle! <br />
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And it's now Monday. The morning has been so productive! In fact, I sat down to eat lunch and realized I had been so focused on cleaning up I hadn't even brushed my teeth this morning! It's these "little things" I really miss. Michaela and I had a little "tiff" when I got her laundry out of the dryer. I called her out to the living room and started to sort her clothes. I told her she could find the clothes that needed to hang up and put them in a flat pile. She demanded to know why she had to help me! Oh HELL no, are you freaking kidding me?! So I put the clothes back in the basket and handed it to her. There's noway I'm going to work on her clothes if she thinks SHE's helping ME. I told her I was helping her but not anymore. She could put her own clothes away, by herself, and if she didn't put them away (she has a habit of leaving them on her floor) then I wasn't washing them anymore either! I told her she would have to wash them in the tub because she is too young to use the washing machine. I think I put up with a lot but that was too much. The clothes are now put away...I did not hang or fold a single piece!<br />
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So I ate lunch (and brushed my teeth!) and I was thinking how proud I was of myself for all I got done this morning...put away the Christmas tree; vacuumed, including the stairs; unloaded, reloaded, and unloaded the dishwasher again; WIPED DOWN THE COUNTER AND STOVE (yes, I was cursing my husband the entire time I did this); washed Jake's bedding, Michaela's clothes, and Jake's clothes; fixed the kids' breakfast; fed the baby; cleaned the bathroom; got both kids to pick up their toys and trash, and clean up their rooms; and in between even found time to drink my daily cup of coffee (that is really three cups but whose counting). I found myself thinking I deserved the "Mom of the Year" award! Then I realized this is just part of the job description. Being a mom I'm SUPPOSED to do all of this along with all the BS I had been through previously this week. In fact, I probably deserve the "Worst Mom of the Year" award for thinking I was so great for doing the things that should be routine. So much for being proud of my accomplishments for today. I'll just go back to ignoring the kids and watching TV now. Thanks for playing.<br />
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So why do I stay at this job? I can't tell you how many times I have fantasized about leaving for work one morning and getting on the highway and just keep driving... But before I even get to the highway I wonder, "Did Michaela do her homework last night? Is Jake going to have a good day at school or will he get in trouble? I wonder if Joey will roll over today" and I can't wait to get home and see those three sweet little faces (and yes, I suppose Ed's too!) and give them kisses and ask about their days. The hugs and the little angels that sleep in the kids' beds keep me coming back and totally make it worth it. It's definitely the pay.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-6031199035953335852013-01-13T17:24:00.000-08:002013-01-13T17:25:25.886-08:002012--Baby Joey's YearBaby Joey's story is really the story of 2012. I have thought about how to describe the last year and the only thing I can come up with is the most difficult, "good" year of my life. The year even started off mixed. Ed and I decided that our Christmas present to each other would be a trip to the Cotton Bowl when we found out that K-State was playing and Ed could get tickets through his FOX station. They were playing Arkansas and our great friends Dom and Amanda are huge Arkansas fans and we were hoping they would be able to come to Texas for the game since we hadn't seen them in WAY too long. They weren't able to come but we did get to go to the game with great friends (miss you Morgan!) and we had a blast! K-State lost but played well and we were excited that Arkansas fans seemed really great and we agreed that we may have to look into being Razorback fans in the future (foreshadowing!). About a month later, we found out we were going to have our third baby. We should have known then that the year would be crazy, but I'm getting ahead of myself... I couldn't wait to tell my friends and almost all of them responded the same way...(laughing) "Have you lost your minds?!" :) Why yes, yes we have. They were really happy for us--and really excited to have another source for all these crazy stories! There is a very good possibility, I would even say PROBability, that this child would grow up to be just like the other two. Absolutely insane. But three is the magic number!<br />
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We had always wanted three babies. We had talked about three kids even before we got engaged. But we had purposely put off the third child for several years because we couldn't afford it and it was looking like we were going to have to give up on the idea of three kids. Ed had just turned 40 and I was going to be 35 in March and we just didn't see it happening anytime soon. As Michaela and Jake were getting older, we also wondered if it was really a good idea to have another one of these little creatures. As with Michaela, God made the decision for us. We were super excited and scared out of our minds at the same time. Ed had never gotten the promotion we had been hoping for and our financial situation was not looking to change anytime soon...and that's when we boarded the roller coaster. <br />
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We had a nice little routine in Texas...all week was crazy, crazy, crazy, and busy, busy, busy, but on Wednesday evenings we would drop Michaela and Jake off at church for AWANA and Ed and I would go sit down and have dinner together. It was May 2nd and we had just found out that morning that our new baby was going to be a boy. We had already decided that his name would be Joseph Thomas after Ed's grandfathers and we were really glad to find out it was a boy because we didn't thing a girl would appreciate the name as she got older. (We had nothin' for girl names!) Anyway, we were eating dinner sans children, and Ed's corporate boss called. He reluctantly answered--he had been waiting for a call to find out when and where his next business trip would be and he did not want to go this time. He told his boss we were eating and could he call him back in 20 minutes. So we finished eating in a bad mood and left to pick up the kids at church. He called his boss back while he went in to pick them up and I called my good friend Stacey to talk about summer swimming lessons for the kids. Ed came back out and told me to hang up because we needed to talk. Now he knows when I'm talking to Stacey or Becky it is about IMPORTANT stuff. So for him to insist on interrupting like that I knew something was up. I was scared to ask. But I hung up and he looked at me and asked, "How do you feel about Little Rock?" It was the call we had been waiting for for two years. Ed had been going on "trips" fixing other stations and working hard for the company and he wanted to move up. His boss had called to let him know that the next day the General Manager from the Little Rock station would be calling him to talk about a job. It was unbelieveable. This was basically why we had been waiting to get pregnant. So it happened in the wrong order but he got his promotion that would put us in a better position to have another baby! He got the phone call on Thursday and the next Tuesday they offered him the job. He had to be in Little Rock to start work on June 4th. I wouldn't even be out of school until the 1st.<br />
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Now I said earlier that we should have known the year would be crazy... I am a math and science person and I like to find patterns in things. First of all, we moved both times I was pregnant before. In fact we moved twice while I was pregnant with Michaela! And second, all of us had been born in different states. Ed is from New York, I am from Kansas, Michaela is from North Carolina, and Jake is from Texas. We thought that both boys were going to be born in Texas...same town, same hospital, same doctor...no it was too simple for us, we have to make things more difficult than that. So we should have known, or at least suspected that we would be moving and that it would most likely be out of state. I have to admit I had thought about it but just laughed it off because it seemed like we were destined to stay in Beaumont. But here we were, I was five months pregnant and we would be moving to Arkansas over the summer. Remember when Ed and I had decided we may start following the Razorbacks...yeah. So I went to work on Wednesday and started telling my boss, coworkers, and AMAZING friends that I would be leaving at the end of the school year four weeks away. Jake was scheduled for swimming lessons the first two weeks of June so we decided that Ed would go ahead of us and stay in a hotel while I would keep the kids in Beaumont until the 15th when Jake's swimming was over. We put the house on the market and started packing. <br />
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In January I had made plans to take a trip over the summer. One of my best friends was getting married in Las Vegas at the end of June and I was going to be there. They were already teasing me because my first trip to Vegas and I was going to be six months pregnant. Of course the flight was booked out of Houston...and now I would be living in Arkansas. So two weeks after I took the kids to Little Rock, my mom drove down from Kansas and rode with me and the kids BACK to Beaumont so I could go to Vegas with the girls. In the two weeks we were in Little Rock, Ed and I had found an apartment and put down a deposit to move in on July 6th. So it worked like this...me, my mom, and the kids would go back to Beaumont on Wednesday. She would keep them there with all of their toys and familiar surroundings while I spent the weekend in Vegas. My step dad would drive to Little Rock from Kansas when he got off work on Friday and he and Ed would drive to Beaumont on Saturday. I would get home on Monday and we would all load the truck on Tuesday and Wednesday and drive our stuff back to Little Rock on Thursday and unload on Friday. Nice plan right? Well it worked out ok but Holy Cow! There was no food in the house when we got back to Beaumont so at 10:30 at night I went to the grocery store to get milk, cereal, and a few things to last the weekend. Michaela got sick Wednesday night and I was up with her coughing every hour all night. I got up to leave at 6am and left instructions and money with my mom to take her to the doctor as soon as the clinic opened Thursday morning and I went to pick up my friends and head to the airport. I had a GREAT time in Las Vegas...aside from a couple minor meltdowns because I felt guilty that my daughter was sick, we had no buyer for the house, I didn't have a job in Arkansas, and I was having fun and spending money. I think it was mostly hormones. Friday afternoon Stacey, Tiffany, and I walked all the way from Harrah's to the M&M store on the strip. (For those of you who are not familiar with Vegas imagine hiking from a hotel in Vegas to Arizona.) And it was 112 degrees that day. In the shade. Since Joey was with me in Vegas, I had to get him a souvenir so he got an M&M baby blanket. I got back to the hotel and I was exhausted! The stress and guilt of the aforementioned situation started to get to me and I called Ed and just started bawling. I couldn't even get out a full sentence. I cried on the phone to Ed for about 15 minutes but I had to hang up and splash some water on my face because I had to be at the bachlorette party downstairs in 10 minutes. (Don't worry Becky, I pulled it together and had a great time! Sometimes it's handy to have crazy hormones.) We had so much fun that weekend, I even got to see Celine Dion at Ceasar's Palace with my good friend Lois, it was AWESOME! The wedding was great and I got home Monday tired but glad for the weekend away. Then Ed mentioned the truck. He had reserved a 24ft truck for a three bedroom house. "Sweetie, you realize we have a LOT of crap packed into a FOUR bedroom house with a garage, right?" So he had to scramble around Tuesday morning trying to find a larger truck and Wednesday was July 4th and everything was closed. We were finally able to get one at 4pm. We had hired two guys to help us load the truck on Wednesday because I had thoughtfully planned it so I could not lift anything for these moves :) and my parents helped us get everything on the truck. Except that even though we got the biggest truck available, all of our stuff didn't fit. So as we got down to the last of the rooms and realized that we were going to have to leave some stuff, we had to decide what was really necessary and what we could live without...possibly for months. We left Thursday with a few boxes left in one room and a full garage. These things didn't make it to Arkansas until the end of October. Thank goodness we packed all of the baby stuff the first trip!<br />
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Once we got the majority of our stuff to Arkansas, I had the task of finding a new doctor, hospital, and pediatrician; getting the kids enrolled in school; finding a job for August; unpacking the boxes; and trying to get the kids involved in soccer, gymnastics, karate, Brownies, or some combination of these. Oh yeah, and remember I'm seven months pregnant, don't know anyone, and my husband has just been sent on another out-of-town business trip over the next weekend. Ed was leaving on Friday morning and Jake woke up with a 105 degree fever. Thank goodness I had asked a lady at the pool the day before for the number of a pediatrician. I called and they said to bring him in. Ed had to leave and I called him a couple of hours later to tell him Jake had pneumonia (again, he had it once when he was two...another story!). They gave him antibiotics and I sat with him all weekend. He started to get a little better Saturday morning but by Sunday afternoon he was laying listless on the couch. He wouldn't even sit up to eat. I was so worried about him! I felt like I was watching my baby slowly drowned and I couldn't do anything for him. I held him and cried Sunday evening and Monday I called the doctor back to find out what to do. His fever wouldn't stay down and he had been on the antibiotics all weekend. The doctor wanted to see him again. I took him back in Monday morning and his pulse oxygen level was only 90. They put him on any oxygen tank and called an ambulance to take him to the Children's Hospital downtown. He was admitted and I called Ed who was on his way home to tell him to come straight to the hospital. They were finally able to get him to respond to medicine and he got to go home on Wednesday. He told me "Mommy, I really like the nurse! I got to play video games and they brought me toys. I want to go back to the nurse!" He meant the hospital. I have tried to tell him he stayed at the "hospital" and the "nurse" took care of him. He still wants to stay at the nurse. I'm just glad we got to bring him home with us. Welcome to Arkansas!<br />
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Over the next month we enrolled them in school (where they were too full in Kindergarten and said we wouldn't know if Jake would get to stay there until after school started!), signed up for soccer, I got a job teaching Physical Science and Chemistry, and I found an OB doctor. The baby was doing great and was due in mid-September. Now we just had to wait for him to arrive. I expected him a little early since Jake had been but Joey had other ideas.<br />
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I went back to work August 9th with our first meetings. I had found a daycare that would take the big kids for an afterschool program if needed and we put Joey on the waiting list. Ed's mom was coming to stay with us from mid-August til after Christmas to help us get started with the new baby. She arrived and school started and we were getting ready for the new addition. Jake got to stay at the school where they enrolled and they were settling in great! I had a doctor's appointment every week after school started and we finally made it to my last day of work before baby time. I got off Friday and we were going to induce Monday morning, the 17th. So Monday came and mom and I went to the hospital while Ed took the big kids to school. Ed got to the hospital and we got all checked in and they started the prep work. It was about 8:30 when they started trying to put in the IV. Now I have mentioned before that I HATE needles. At that point I had already had two kids without epidurals because of my feelings about needles. The nurse is trying to put in the IV and she is digging around in my hand and can't get the needle in right. Apparently she hit a valve in the vein. Meanwhile I am starting to sweat and turn white, my stomach is rolling and I seriously think I am about to either get sick or pass out right there. I can have natural childbirth but I almost pass out when they try to put in an IV...go figure. So they get me some ice and she moves to the other hand. Great. Finally, the IV is in and they start the pitocin drip at 8:45. I asked for stadol at 9:30 and they gave me a half dose so I could get more later if needed but when I asked for more at 10:00 they said it was too late, it was time to get the doctor in there because the baby was coming. Nobody had expected it to go so fast! The doctor came in and checked on me then he left. I was a little alarmed because I was in intense pain, this baby needed the doctor here now! Me: "Where is the doctor?!" Ed: "He stepped out for a minute." Me: "Well he better get back here quick cuz I'm ready to get this over with!" Fortunately, he came back in about that time and Joey was born at 10:15. He was so sweet and the big kids were so excited to meet and hold him that afternoon! <br />
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The next day, the doctor asked me how I was feeling. "A little tired." He asked if I was ready to go home or if I wanted to spend another night in the hospital. Hmmm. Go home to my own bed where I have THREE crying kids, my husband, my mother-in-law, and have to help make decisions and take care of all of them...or stay in the hospital where they take the baby all night except when it's feeding time and they bring me good hot meals on a tray that I get to eat in bed while mom and Ed take care of the big kids without me. "I really don't feel so good doctor." He smiled and I stayed another night. Don't get me wrong though, mom and Ed were a HUGE help after we got home. He gets the big kids ready and off to school every morning and helps make sure they have all of their stuff the night before. And mom took care of the baby all day and even while I was home for eight weeks, she did all the cleaning and laundry and cooking. It was so amazing. I really got spoiled having her here. I really dreaded going back to work. I had a great time spending my days with mom and Joey. But I reminded myself that I go to work so we can keep the kids in soccer, and take them to special events, and so I don't start drawing crayon pictures directly on the walls depicting adults having conversations with other adults. It makes it easier. <br />
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Then we had a great holiday season. Thanksgiving was nice and most of our family was here for Christmas! My mom and step dad drove down on Christmas eve and we had a GREAT Christmas day. We opened presents and had lasagna...that's our tradition that started with Ed, Dom and I back in North Carolina...and then it snowed! It was the first time since 1926 that it snowed on Christmas in Little Rock. That was my grandpa saying hello from Heaven. When Ed and I had moved to North Carolina my grandpa was concerned about us being 2 hours apart and how we would deal with snowy weather when we had to travel. Ed assured him that it doesn't snow in North Carolina that much. Grandpa thought it was hilarious when two months later Raleigh had two inches of snow and the entire city shut down. Even Walmart was closed!! He bought us a snow shovel as a wedding gift. He wrapped it but then grandma had to give it to us at our wedding in August because grandpa passed away in May. We still have the shovel. Still wrapped in our bedroom. We are having a battle of wills with grandpa. We refuse to open the shovel because "we don't need it" and he keeps making sure it snows everywhere we go that it "doesn't snow". In Beamont it snowed two years in a row while we were there. They were the only two times my high school students ever saw snow. My teacher friends were calling and texting me in the middle of the night to show me the pictures of them and their miniature snowmen. Ok grandpa, I get it. It snows here. But so far we are winning, we still haven't HAD to open it! (Love you grandpa but keep trying!) Anyway, mom's flight got cancelled and she stayed two extra days during which Ed's dad, step mom, and one of his sisters came to visit also. They all left on the same day, my parents left five days later, and we were left to start our REAL lives with three kids.<br />
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2012 was a GREAT year, I will never regret any of it. We had amazing friends and family support, job changes/promotions, and a precious new family member all of which has forever changed (and improved!) our lives. We have strengthened bonds with friends and family that were completely unexpected and I think we realized how very, very important our friends and family are to us. We moved away from what was comfortable but in the process we learned how really special all of our relationships are. Even though we are far away, I want to make sure that we keep all of these special people in our lives, including the ones that were already miles from our home but close in our heart. So I want to take this opportunity to say to ALL of our friends and family, I love you. Kansas, New York, Virginia, North Carolina, Texas, Idaho, California, Arkansas and anywhere else you or we may travel...you are truly a blessing in our lives and the miles will not keep you from our hearts and our lives. It has been a hard year with challenges and triumphs but ultimately, here we are in 2013--all FIVE of us!--going strong and ready for more. And it's because of our faith in God, the support of our friends and family, and the love that we share for each other. So Joey, welcome to the family and family, welcome to next year!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-62672934195058985762013-01-12T19:43:00.000-08:002013-01-12T19:46:52.027-08:00My Little JakeyJake was born without much fuss. Michaela was almost three and "Baby Jake" was due in the beginning of January. We didn't have any trouble with the pregnancy (I remembered the ordeal with Michaela and the triple screen blood test so I REFUSED to take it this time!) and there wasn't any debate over the name. We decided to name him Edward James after Ed and my grandpa. I wanted a nickname for him that wasn't so grown up sounding and when I was looking through baby name books, I discovered that James and Jacob are from the same origin and have the same meaning so I suggested "Jake". Michaela immediately started running around calling him "Baby Jake" and of course it stuck. We do get funny looks when we talk about Jake to someone who has his official name in front of them. They always want to know where it came from. So I'm a little crazy, none of us are perfect. <br />
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I was teaching and we were going into Christmas break on December 15th. Since the baby was due the first week of January, I wasn't going back to work after the break until February and I had not gotten anything ready for the hospital or being home with a newborn. We got out of school Friday and I spent Saturday and Sunday cleaning the house. Michaela and I were staying home the next week to get ready for Christmas and baby Jake and Ed would be on vacation, but he had to direct the morning show on Monday (he works at a television station for anyone who doesn't know) so he went in to work about 5am. The show was from 5:30 to 7:00 and Ed was the only one that could direct because someone had to take the day off. Right after he left, my water broke at 5:15. I was home alone with a 2-year-old who was asleep, no family in town, and my husband was inaccessible for the next two hours. Even if I could get him to answer his phone during the show, there wasn't anything he could do, so I went back to bed for a while. I got up about 6:30 and packed a bag for me, packed a bag for the new baby, and a bag for Michaela. I didn't know where she was going but she would have to go somewhere so I figured it was best to have a bag. We had a couple that were good friends of ours who were going to keep Michaela for a couple of days when we had to go to the hospital but since Jake was so early, they were on a cruise. She had an ear doctor's appointment anyway that morning and the ear doctor was right next to the hospital so I figured that Ed could take her while we waited for Jake's arrival. Finally, about 7:15 I decided to go ahead and call him. He freaked out! He hurried everyone and got the last things done that he had to do and left. That night in the hospital we watched the evening newscast and they congratulated us on the new baby and the anchor even mentioned that I had waited two hours in labor before I called and bothered Ed at work! Anyway, Ed picked us up and we all went to the Emergency Room. We got settled in a room and Ed took Michaela to her appointment and I called the daycare to ask if we could bring her out for the day. They were so exicited they didn't charge us for the day and even asked if we needed someone to come and get her! We were very lucky to have GREAT daycares when we were in Texas :) Ed got back to the hospital at 10:30am and Jake was born at 10:45. We had our baby Jake! <br />
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There were several friends that came to visit at the hospital and one of the teachers that I worked with picked up Michaela and kept her for a couple of days so I could rest. (Thanks again Rita and Raymond! We love you guys!) They called her "No, Michaela". If I keep writing and you keep reading you'll understand why if you don't already! Once we got home and settled in, it was clear that Jake was an entirely different baby than Michaela. He was calm and relaxed. He didn't need much and was usually content no matter what was going on. Michaela was in love with her baby brother. She liked to play with him so much and she couldn't wait until he got big enough to play with her too. She liked to climb INSIDE his carrier...with him in it. You know, the carseat carriers that have the handle on them, when Jake was sitting in it on the floor she would squeeze in between him and the handle. She grabbed the edges of the carrier near the top by his head and put her knees on the edges down by his feet and she would make faces and talk to him as she rocked the entire carrier back and forth! And not gently. Jake would just lay there and look up at her adoringly. We were frequently saying things we never thought anyone would say... "Michaela, don't drag your baby brother by his head!", "Don't put your fingers in his mouth...I know he sucks HIS thumb, but that doesn't mean he wants YOURS", "Stop trying to buckle yourself in the baby carrier, you're going to get stuck", and eventually "How did you BREAK the side of the crib?!?!" Life has never been dull with these two.<br />
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We went for a long time without many "Baby Jake" stories because we thought he was a sweet little angel. Ed and I neither one had much experience with kids and so for the longest time we thought Michaela was normal too. Our first real clue that we were in trouble was when her daycare director pulled me aside one day to "talk". Michaela had just turned two and I was still pregnant with Jakey. The director said she needed to talk to me one day when I went to pick her up. She asked, "Does Michaela EVER listen to either of you?" I was shocked and really didn't know what to say. "Well, sometimes. She is a little wild but she will do what we tell her eventually." She went on to explain that Michaela didn't do anything that a normal 2-year-old doesn't do (which is bad enough, I'm told) but she does it all 10 times faster than all the others. The minute they took her down off the bookcase, they would turn around and she was on top of the table. So when Jake was little, compared to Michaela, he WAS an angel! They would play together and Michaela took whatever she wanted. If Jake was playing with a toy and she wanted it, she snatched it away from him. He would look at her a minute, put his thumb in his mouth, and find another toy. She dragged him around, took his toys, demanded he watch or play what she wanted, and he thought that's how life was supposed to be so he just accepted it.<br />
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Now he did have his moments here and there. The whole first year of his life he had almost constant ear infections. He never showed any symptoms...again, very laid back kid!...we would take him to the doctor for what was supposed to be a "Well Baby" check and he would have an ear infection, or two! No fever, no fussing, no pulling at his ears. But when he turned one and still wasn't walking or saying words like he should have been, the doctor sent him to a specialist for his ears. He had to have tubes put in at 14 months. One month later, he was walking and two weeks after that he was kicking a soccer ball up and down the field at his sister's games. Unfortunately, due to the constant fluid in his ears, he was behind in his speech so he started seeing a speech therapist at about 17 months. Laura Beth was really great with him and he quickly picked up sounds and words that he had not been hearing before. Now because of the developmental delay, they did evaluate him just in case there were other issues. Laura Beth would try to see how he reacted when he was angry to make sure he showed anger in appropriate way,s so to make him mad she would fuss with him when he was playing or take his toys out of his hand. She got so frustrated because she couldn't get any kind of reaction from him, he would just ignore her or play with something else. We told her she needed to meet Michaela. After a year of therapy, he had come so far along he was actually ahead of his age level and he tested out of the program. Honestly, I was sad to see her go. I really liked Laura Beth and Jake liked playing with her!<br />
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There was the time when he was about two that he was in the playroom watching TV and he managed to pull the TV over on his foot. We had it sitting on the floor so that it wouldn't fall on the kids and hurt them but obviously, they were too smart for us. He figured out how to hurt himself with it anyway. He cried and cried and the foot was bruised so I took him to the ER to see if it was broken. Fortunately, it was just bruised. A couple months later though he was playing in the living room with Ed and he was running back and forth between the couch and the TV. He was laughing really hard (he loves playing with daddy!) and I told them both they needed to settle down. But they kept playing crazy in the house and a couple minutes later SMACK! Jake was running toward the big TV while he was laughing and he tripped and slammed face-first into the TV stand. Ed took him straight into the bathroom and yelled for me. When I looked at Jake, he had blood all over his mouth and chin. I couldn't even tell what was bleeding! Ed wiped his face and I looked at his mouth and his front tooth was bent all the way back to the roof of his mouth! It was so gross! I'm usually not very squeamish, I can handle all kinds of blood and guts and gore but I can't stand needles and teeth. I thought I was going to throw up. But I couldn't leave his tooth like that, I was afraid it would heal that way and mess up his whole mouth. So I reached in and grabbed the tooth and tried to put it back in the right position. The stupid tooth popped right out. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to take him to the ER if they couldn't do anything anyway but I didn't want to ruin the tooth if it could be fixed. So I called one of my studnets. It was 7pm and I knew her dad was a dentist. I had her cell phone number because she had babysat for us before. He was super nice and I felt like an idiot for bothering him at home at night...but it was my baby's tooth! There wasn't anything they would do so Jake is still missing that front tooth. There is a picture of him and his big sister both with big goofy gap-toothed smiles. We are hoping he will start getting his permanent teeth soon but I don't know what he will do with a full set! He got another trip to the ER the next summer when he was three. He had been playing with Michaela and came out of the playroom coughing. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had a penny in his throat. Are you kidding me?!! "You swallowed a penny?!" "No, I didn't swallow it all the way, it's stuck." Oh, of course, silly me. So he was three and maybe he didn't really put a penny in his mouth. But after a few minutes of talking to him, it was pretty clear that he had TRIED to swallow the penny but he didn't think it made it all the way down. I knew it wasn't blocking his airway because he was talking and coughing but I wasn't sure that it had really gone all the way down either. A penny is kinda big, it could get struck somewhere in a 3-year-old's esophagus right? So we went to get an X-ray and we could see the penny sitting right in the middle of his tummy. The nurses were trying not to laugh about it when they told me that the entrance was the smallest part and the penny would "come out" on its own. As long as they were sure it was going to come out, I wasn't going to look for it. <br />
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After these kinds of "incidents" with Jake, I worried more about his intelligence than his behavior. This child was somewhat accident prone and I wasn't entirely convinced that Michaela wasn't behind many of these little disasters befalling the boy. There's no telling what she talked him into before he learned to question her instructions. ("I don't care if Michaela told you to draw a picture on your tummy with the permanent markers!") How smart could he really be if he kept listening to her and getting hurt or in trouble? We've tried to tell her how important it is that she look out for her little brother, and she's great when she wants to be, nobody ELSE had better bother him! But he has started to question her and he is doing very well (academically) in school. So I guess we don't have to worry too much about his intelligence...he obviously just adores his big sister! They really do love each other so much and we are so blessed to have such a great pair of babies. And now we have a third baby that they both love so much. Joey is only 3 months old but he looks up at his big brother Jake and his big sister Michaela and he smiles so big and he laughs. We will have to keep an eye out for markers and pennies but hopefully they are enough older than him that they will be more mindful of his safety. But then again they ARE Jake and Michaela!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-30339673114172071822013-01-04T18:40:00.001-08:002013-01-04T18:40:59.544-08:00Meet MichaelaNow that I have introduced my husband and shared some of his dirty laundry, you may be able to understand our daughter a little bit. As with most blessings in our lives she was not our plan but God's plan for us. I tell everyone that I prayed for patience and God gave me Michaela. Truly, be careful what you ask for. Michaela was born a perfectly healthy, normal baby but we had quite a ride with her. She started causing us hearache from about 12 weeks into the pregnancy. We went for a routine prenatal check and were offered the "Triple Screen", a blood test that helps detect abnormalities such as indicators for Downs Syndrome. I HATE needles and this screen is not required, nor did we have any risk factors that would indicate a need for the test. But Ed thought that having the screening done would put our minds at ease when it came back normal and he really wanted me to do it so I agreed. (I did learn a lesson from this experience!) Unfortunately, it did not come back normal. It showed an increased risk for Downs Syndrome and we were terrified. The doctors had to do a level 2 sonogram where they could better see the baby. This was done and they couldn't see anything that would indicate a problem but they recommended an amniocentesis in order to completely rule out problems. This is a procedure where a three foot long needle that is as big around as your little finger is jabbed directly through your belly button and they dig around in your uterus until they get enough amniotic fluid that they can test and get the baby's DNA. (I have exaggerated very little here. That needle was freaking huge!) Remember that I hate needles? I laid on the table a cried while they did the test but Ed held my hand the whole time and it turned out to be worth it when we got the results a couple of weeks later that our baby girl was fine! I guess you can imagine the relief we felt. As with Ed, I should have realized at this point that life would never be easy with this child.<br />
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Then we had to choose a name. We now knew we were having a girl and I started thinking of all the beautiful names for little girls. Every time I would suggest a name, Ed would ask, "Why that name?" I would tell him that I liked the way it sounded or that it was pretty but unusual, or that I liked the meaning of the name. He would answer, "No, I don't like that one." After several conversations like this I was exasperated and I finally asked him, "What in the world do you want me to say? How do you want to choose her name?" He said he wanted to use a family name that had meaning to us. Are you kidding?! All these beautiful names I had dreamed of naming my little girl and you limit me to family names! But I'm a smart girl (sometimes). My brother's name is Michael. I like my brother. And I like the name Michaela...you can guess the rest. Since we took her first name from my family, her middle name is after Ed's mom, Marie. As if Ed's craziness isn't enough, my family is a little unstable itself. My mom had a fit when we announced that the baby would be named Michaela Marie. Not that my mom has anything against either name or either person she is named after. In fact, my mom really likes Ed's mom. And of course she's crazy about my brother (but that's another story!) but her middle name is Jo and my middle name is Jo and she intended for me to give my daughter the middle name Jo also. But I didn't. She told Ed that we named the baby wrong. In those words. Unbelieveable. To this day she still calls Michaela "Mickey Jo". Ed cringes every time he hears it. I think it would have been fine as a nickname if she hadn't told him we had named the child WRONG. In our private conversations we refer to this as "The Name Incident". Nothing is easy in this family.<br />
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We finally settled on the name and family members accepted it (some easier than others) and the rest of the pregancy was somewhat uneventful. I had false labor during the Oscar's and we thought she was going to be born on February 29th. Maybe her threatened Oscar appearance was an indication that she would reign in our home as the Drama Queen. But she waited. And waited. And waited. It seemed like forever, but she was only 5 days past due when she was born in March. Ed was working evenings so he called in to work and took me to the hospital instead about 3pm. I had just been to the doctor that morning and had progressed about 1cm since then so they admitted me around 5pm but figured it would still be awhile. I was scared of the pain so I let them draw blood to prepare for an epidural but I didn't want one--remember, I'm scared of needles, there was no way I wanted one in my BACK if it could be avoided! It was a good thing because when they came back at 6:30pm to say the blood work was done and I could have the epidural, it was already time to push. Ed was talking to me and holding my hand, at which point I yelled at him, "shut up! I hold your hand, you don't hold my hand!" He was quick to comply. They had to call the doctor back from supper and the nurse told me not to push yet. She said, "I can deliver this baby but I don't want to!" Thankfully the doctor arrived quickly and Michaela was born at 7:27pm.<br />
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We finally had our beautiful baby girl! She did all the silly baby things that all babies do. She spit up. A LOT. She went through tons of diapers. Ed's mom also gave her a nickname that lasted a while, "Volcano pants" and yes, it was because of the way the poop erupted from the top of her pants. More than once. But something was different about Michaela. From the very beginning she was very aware of her surroundings. She "watched" everything. I know they say babies can't see more than three feet away but if Michaela was limited, you couldn't tell. She would actually stare people down in stores until they would come and talk to her. When we held her on our shoulder, she would push away from us and look around. This was at DAYS old. I have never heard of a baby this aware or this strong. It was amazing. And she did not like to be held. She would wiggle and cry until we put her down. She liked attention and being talked to but this kid was independent from the start. Ed would sit with her in the crook of his arm while he played video games and she would watch. Daddy's little girl! I would dance around the house with her to the song "Yeah!" by Usher. It is still one of her favorite songs. She was an amazing baby!<br />
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Her first post-natal incident came at about two months old. Michaela was notorious already for throwing herself around while you were holding her. It was bound to happen and one day pur good friend was bringing her inside and as she reached for the door Michaela chose that exact second to throw herself backwards. Despite our friend's best efforts to stop it, Michaela fell and hit her head on concrete. They thankfully acted quickly and put her in her carrier and put ice on the bump. There was no blood, no crying, no fuss but they and Ed decided to take her to the emergency room anyway. I was at work and Ed had the brilliant idea that since I couldn't do anything anyway they shouldn't tell me until I got home. I could have killed him when I finally found out but luckily for him I was too worried about Michaela to bother. It turned out she had fractured her skull. Neither of the soft spots had hardened yet and they were able to expand to adjust for any swelling and she had no problems. She spent the weekend in the hospital and I think it had to be one of the longest weekends of my life, but it didn't phase her in the least. Michaela is both figuratively and literally hard-headed, it is just a medical fact. Bones heal stronger than before they were broken. Again, probably should have realized what I was in for at this point but it was just an accident, right? If only... Hellllloooo, Michaela.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2521283569781508553.post-57137033033045772762013-01-04T10:24:00.002-08:002013-01-04T18:56:07.249-08:00And So It Begins...Somewhere in the MiddleWhen people ask me how many children I have, I always answer the same way, "Four. I have a three-month-old son, a six-year-old son, an eight-year-old daughter, and a 41-year-old husband." Sometimes I think the 41-year-old competes with the others for the title of Least Mature. So the very first thing I have to say as I begin this blog is that I absolutely ADORE my family. I am so in love with my husband and kids and I would not trade one minute (or one of these stories I'm about to tell) for anything. These four people have caused me no small amount of frustration, difficulty, exhaustion, and pain...but it is all competely worth it! That being said, let me tell you why I am writing this today.<br />
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For many years, I have been calling friends and family when I have reached the end of my rope with one these four precious people and I have told them the horror story of the day that has most recently pushed me to the edge of sanity. I am almost always met with "LOL". Or "Too cute". Or "They crack me up!" So at some point in my relationship with others, many of them have said to me, "you should write a book about your family." Well, I'm not ambitious enough to start that book but I was on Facebook last night and I followed a friend's link that led me to a blog and I got the idea to start a blog about these stories. This may not be interesting to others who don't know my family but it may be a way for you to get to know them and share in a little of my "pain". There may be other moms out there that have some of the same problems with their kids that might feel better knowing they are not the only ones raising these adorable little monsters that make you want to pull someone's hair out. Or maybe nobody wants to read it at all, but it might be therapeutic for me to write it down.<br />
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So let me back up and tell you about the beginning. I should have realized from the start that my husband was going to be trouble. There were warning signs, as there usually are. So for any women who are dating, if you see any of these signs, it might be time to run. And run fast.<br />
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I met my husband in a bar. I know, the number one thing mothers everywhere tell their daughters is that you are not going to meet a nice man in a bar. We are also told not to judge and wouldn't judging him for being in a bar be stereotyping? Anyway, we started dating. We lived in separate towns so it was a couple of months before I visited his apartment. Wow. The main thing that I noticed (and should have paid more attention to) were the piles. Piles of stuff everywhere. To this day I am haunted by the man wanting to make piles instead of actually putting things AWAY. PTSD is a very real thing. I have horrible flashbacks to his apartment whenever he starts to stack things together in a corner instead of putting them in thier homes. There were piles of books, piles of clothes, piles of empty pizza boxes and two liter bottles. At least there was no beer can pyramid. Now everybody knows not to expect too much from a single man living by himself but I think I should have realized at that point that there was an issue. Love really must be blind, or stupid. Later in our relationship (much too late) I would remind myself of these piles as I snuck into the bathroom while he was in the shower to replace the dirty socks on the floor with clean ones so he wouldn't wear them yet another day. I think before we moved in together he must have lived solely on Dominoes and Burger King. The delivery people knew him by name. But I still ignored what was right in front of me. <br />
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Then there was the trip to New York. Ed is from New York and we had been living in Kansas. One of his three childhood best friends, Bill, was getting married and Ed wanted me to come with him to meet his friends and family. I was very excited to get to go to New York and meet them so of course I went. We drove there. Not as in we drove all day and got a hotel room overnight, we drove straight through from Topeka to New York City all in one trip. We stopped at a couple of rest stops or McDonald's to sleep an hour or two at a time. This is craziness. These kinds of 24-hour road trips should be reserved for college kids who don't know any better. But we got there eventually, exhausted and stinky. We stayed with the wedding party in the hotel the first night and more friends were coming the next day. This is how I met Chris. Chris is one of Ed's best friends and he is a SUPER person. I did not expect him first thing in the morning. He too had driven overnight but from Virginia. Again, this driving pattern was something I should have noted as evidence of the insanity of life with Ed but, bygones... Ed had left the hotel room and used the latch to prop the door open. I had just gotten out of the shower and was wrapped in a towel with the bathroom door cracked so the steam could get out. I think you see where this is going. Fourtunately, I still had the towel on while I brushed my teeth when Chris threw open the door and greeted me with "HELLLLOOOO!". I'm still not sure who was more surprised. Not the way you expect to meet your boyfriend's friends. Again, warning signs.<br />
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The wedding went well and in fact I caught the bouquet and Ed caught the garter. It was a match made by his friends! I think Bill, Chris, and Doreen were all plotting to get Ed married off. I should pay them back for that some day. That night most of us (excluding the bride and groom of course!) were in hotel playing the game "Categories". It's a drinking game where everyone has to give an answer that fits in a certain category. The current category was "Birth Control" and we had been around the room a couple of times already. It was back to me and I was out of ideas so to be cute I said, "knowing Ed as a kid." Being in a room full of his close friends, this was the best answer of the night. And Ed being gracious (and also out of ideas) just drank. I had gained the "friend approval" that is so important to long term relationships but what I didn't realize was that Earnest Hemmingway could not have foreshadowed better. If I had known then what I was in for when I did have children with Ed... Many people still wonder if either of us would have found someone else that would put up with us. To this day, I am so thankful to be able to add Chris, Doreen, Bill and their families to my list of friends. They are amazing people! And they all still call me because they know Ed doesn't answer his phone...<br />
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We returned to Kansas after 10 days in New York with little to mention. Although he did threaten to leave me in Ohio after a disagreement at Applebees. We had been joking about him leaving me in Ohio the whole trip and that if we made it through Ohio, all would be good. Then we stopped at Applebees to eat on the trip back home and he swears I picked a fight. I have no idea what we argued about but I do remember we were about 2 miles away from the border. We almost made it out of Ohio. Warning signs. Later that year he got a job in North Carolina and asked me to go with him. So I did. And then there was North Carolina. <br />
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It was the first time I had ever been away from my family and because I was in graduate school I had to transfer to NC State in Raleigh and his job was 2 hours away in New Bern so I really didn't live with him either. It was a difficult time in our relationship but it was also when we got engaged. He had talked about getting married but he wanted to ask me in the perfect way. He wanted to have the ring that his grandmother had left him, he wanted to plan it out and he wanted me to be surprised and cry when I said yes. It didn't quite work out that way, not at all. We tell everyone that we got engaged on Valentine's Day after he took me to an ethnic restaraunt and we watched a foreign film and a musical. It WAS Valentine's Day but it wasn't as sweet as it sounds. The ethnic restaraunt was Taco Bell. We were sitting there after buying a couple of movies at Best Buy and we had a great conversation when we finished lunch. He looked at me and said, "Will you marry me?" I had been hoping for this kind of spontaneous inquiry because all that planning usually goes wrong and I'm one of those impulsive people who prefers spur of the moment, emotional decisions. But I knew he wanted "the Plan". I thought he was teasing so I said, "Not right now." He had been serious but wanted to save face so he played along and laughed it off. So now both of us were crushed, and extemely mad!, but didn't want the other to know. So we went back to my apartment to watch our two new movies. They really were a foreign film (complete with subtitles) and a musical--Jackie Chan's "Drunken Master" and "Moulin Rouge". We watched in silence the rest of the evening until finally breaking into a huge fight which ended after midnight with him saying "But I really meant, Will you marry me!" and then me, "of course I will, stupid!" through lots of tears and the all snot that comes with them. So we actually got engaged on February 15th. Details.<br />
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So we started planning our wedding for August 23rd. We had both graduated from Kansas State University and are huge football fans (our first real date was to watch the Super Bowl together) so we wanted to get married at the chapel on campus. There was a preseason game in Kansas City that day so we arranged to have the game projected on the wall at our reception. Since we only had six months to plan, we started right away getting everything in order. Then in April we were having lunch together one day and made a crazy impulsive decision. (Now, some of our friends and family who may decide to read this PLEASE don't be offended if you have not heard this before. There are only a VERY few people who have been told.) We wanted to have something special to share with each other so we went to the courthouse in Raleigh and got married. And didn't tell anyone. The only people who knew were the two of my friends that went with us to sign as witnesses. In fact, we didn't even remember what day it was. Later I had to look it up on the marriage license to find out what day we actually got married on! And we continued to plan the wedding in August. Of course we had to tell the minister so he knew why there was no marriage license to sign but that was pretty much it. Until July. <br />
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Being two reasonably intelligent adults you would think we would know how this happens but we were surprised to find out I was pregnant at the beginning of July. We were packing getting ready to move and I had taken the home pregnancy test without telling Ed. After I read the results I handed him the stick to which he replied, "Where do you want me to pack this?" I told him it wasn't to be packed and to LOOK at it! I think it's the only time I've ever seen Eddie speechless. He was so excited and couldn't wait to tell our family. At first we had decided not to tell anyone until the second trimester but we couldn't even wait until the end of the week! So we started making phone calls. The only reason anybody else knows about April is because he wanted them to know that we were already married before we got pregnant. Once he saw they were so excited about the baby that they didn't care about when we got married, we quit telling people that we got married in April. The wedding was great in August! All of our friends were there, the reception was a hit, and apparently they knew about us all over Manhattan, KS because we would go into shops looking for K-State souveniers for gifts or decorations and people would ask, "Oh, are you the couple who's getting married on campus this weekend?" It was great! I told Ed if he made me mad I was keeping money in my pocket to pay the limo driver to take me to the game instead and one of Ed's friends offered to take me to the Bahamas if I wanted to back out at the last minute...but I didn't. We got married and had a BLAST! The hotel staff who were working the party next door to our reception kept sneaking over to ours because we had the game on and were having so much fun. We had K-State jerseys made with our last name and the date (he had the number 8 for August and I had the number 23) that we wore over my dress and his tux shirt. So much fun.<br />
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I could continue writing all day but I will have to save some for later because the 8-year-old is screaming for cookies, the six-year-old wants hot chocolate, and the baby needs a poopie diaper changed. Did I mention that they drive me crazy? I'm sure I will at some point.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17748154754796983677noreply@blogger.com1