I hate doing birthdays. I am not good at planning and I get all stressed out about booking a party and organizing all the details, especially invitations. How am I supposed to invite kids to a birthday party when I don't know any of the parents and they can't hand out invites at school unless everyone is invited? Birthdays are supposed to be special and the kid should feel like a superstar for a day but what if nobody shows up? Way too stressful for me. Michaela's birthday was March 8th and I really wanted to have a big party for her. She didn't get a birthday party the last two years (I don't even want to talk about it) so this year I started early asking her what she wanted. I was going to give her a painting party. She loves anything to do with art so I thought this would be perfect for her. She told me she wanted to have a gymnastics party instead. I asked her if she was sure she didn't want to go painting and she said she wanted to see the place first. What 8-year-old needs to pre-approve party locations? I don't know what she expected to find or what she was looking for. It's a place where you go paint pictures, and she's even been to a party like that before! I tried to convice her but she insisted on going there before choosing. Between me starting a new job and Ed working late all week and every weekend for two months, we didn't get to go "check it out" so she never made a decision, and I never booked a party. So her birthday approached and we didn't have any big party plans. I did get online and ordered a couple of the American Girl items that she had asked for out of a catalogue and I even had them delivered ON TIME so she got to open them on her birthday (this is huge for me). We ordered a cake that was decorated with zebra stripes and hot pink and blue icing (her favorite colors), took her out to a special birthday supper, invited one of her school friends over for cake that night, and took cupcakes to her soccer team practice the following week. But I still feel like I didn't do enough. I want to take her and one of her friends for a mani-pedi but haven't yet. I feel like I really screwed up by not having a big party this year and I can't get it out of my head. She seemed happy with the activities and all the soccer friends told her thank you for the cupcakes and happy birthday, she really had fun with it at the time. She enjoyed the dinner, cake, and especially having her friend come over. The sisters came along too so there were several little girls over to see her room and play for a while and they brought her a really nice present. Maybe I just put too much pressure on myself. I have really high expectations. And I think Michaela takes after me in that respect.
We took Michaela to the psychologist today. We have struggled with her behavior and defiance for what seems like forever but a couple of months ago, we hit the breaking point. She was fighting with Ed about getting ready for school one morning and Jake was trying to help out by feeding the cat for her so they could leave as soon as she was dressed. She got mad that "he did her job for her" and said that if she could get away with it she would kill Jake. Now I don't think she really meant that she would or even wanted to kill him but I can't just let that go. We talked to the school counselor and got her an appointment to talk to the psychologist with a Child Studies program here in town. Today was the first appointment we could get so it's a good thing she wasn't serious. We got there today and the doctor (I really don't know if she's a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, etc so doctor is just easiest) asked us all these questions and talked to Michaela some and she found some things she wants to follow up with. She gave us questionnaires to fill out to help her check for ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and depression. She thinks that mainly Michaela is having some adjustment issues with her younger brothers and maybe with the move from last summer and I think she has really picked up on some of Michaela's major problems. I'm ready to try medication. Michaela needs to try a low dose of something and I need a margarita IV.
Just this evening, we had a huge blow-up over washing her hair. You would think a 9-year-old girl would know how to wash and condition her hair without a fight but not Michaela. She got out of the shower quite a while ago and went to her room. I called her out to the living room because I heard her crying. After talking with her for several minutes, she refused to tell me what was wrong and ran back to her room so I followed her. While we were talking, I noticed that her hair wasn't combed and I asked her to get a brush. I finally got her to tell me she had been crying because the "My Little Pony" TV show that she watches on her kindle is over and she didn't want it to end. No matter how well I know this child, I continue to be surprised at the things she does. Anyway, I tried to brush her hair and it didn't seem right so I questioned her and found out she didn't wash it, she just conditioned it. It was taking too long in the shower and she didn't want to take the time to wash it with shampoo. So I told her to get back in the shower and wash it right. She fussed and tried to argue but I wasn't having it so she got back in to finish her hair. When she got out, she brought the comb back to me and I went to work again. This time, when I got to the top of her head, the comb came out foamy, she hadn't rinsed it well. She screamed and started to argue again but then she went. And came right back out. I said, "No, you couldn't have rinsed good in such a short amount of time." She had wet her hands, wiped her hair and rinsed her hands. So I sent her back to the shower for the third time. But she threw a MAJOR fit. "I'm NOT getting back in the shower, I'll get my shirt wet and it takes too long!!!!" I told her if I counted to 3 I was going to dump her, clothes and all, in the shower. "No, I'm not getting back in the shower!!" "1" "Mommy, it takes too long!!!" STOMP, STOMP, STOMP, STOMP. We live in an apartment and have neighbors below us. I'm sure they will be suing for the ceiling chunks that have certainly been raining on them. Michaela turned on the water in the sink again. "2" (Turns the sink off.) "MOMMY!!!" "Michaela, you are already on two. Get in the shower. And if you turn that sink back on that is as good as telling me NO!" She turns the sink back on. "3" "NNNNOOOOOO! MOMMY!!!" Much screaming and crying ensues as I go to PUT the child into the tub. Being the intelligent person that she is, she quickly stripped down and got in on her own. But then she was mad that I stood in the bathroom with her and made sure she rinsed her hair well. Forgive me for not wanting to repeat the previous scene. How appropriate that I could close the shower "curtain" on her little melodrama. I'm sure she is going to win an Oscar someday. She is a talented little actress.
She is also unbelieveably smart. Over the last month or so, they have been testing Michaela for the alpha program. She gets great grades in school and I don't believe she is even performing up to her potential. She is allowed to do artwork when she finishes her school work so sometimes she rushes through just to get done. She doesn't always pay attention to details either. She had to have 14 AR points for this nine-week grading period. She got the 14 points about 4 weeks in but she only had an average of 79% and it had to be 85% or better. So she kept taking tests, and lots of them, in order to raise her percentage. I tried to explain to her the difficulty of raising an average but she didn't quite get it. I think there are lots of adults who don't get it. Anyway, the week before the grading period was over she came home one day and was so excited that she had finally gotten over 85%. She had 36 points. So she was able to get almost three times the number of points needed for the nine weeks but struggled to meet the average because she didn't always read carefully and got less than 80% on several tests (so they lower the average and they don't increase the points either). But once she knew she was going to be below the average, she read more carefully and brought it up. She's completely capable but chooses when and where. So we asked that she be tested for gifted (alpha). I'm not completely sure yet but I have talked with some people with the district and I think she is going to be accepted in the program. There is also a magnet school that has a specialty program for gifted students that is supposed to be really good so we are looking into sending her there next year. She could even start taking orchestra. We will have to add "practicing" to our list of arguments and ordeals. Maybe she will earn a Tony to go along with the Oscar.
Speaking of "practice", soccer started up again a couple of weeks ago. Jake had a game first and he did SO great! He got out there and ran as fast as he could up and down the field; he attacked the ball, even when another player was dribbling down the field; and he got a goal and an assist! He was playing like he had back in Texas last spring and I'm so happy. I love watching them play, they are so happy and they do such a great job on the field. They get along with the other kids and they work as a team...it's awesome watching kids play sports. Michaela's team had a great first game this season too. They got a few new girls but all of the girls came back from the fall. Michaela played goalie most of the game, she is very aggressive and great at keeping the ball out of the goal. The other team didn't score a single goal against her. Then she got to play mid-field for the beginning of the second half and she worked with her forwards and she scored two goals of her own. She is awesome. I love watching both of them on the soccer field. I get so worked up though, I'm always yelling and cheering. It probably annoys the other parents, but I cheer for everybody, not just my kids. If they don't like it, oh well. It's not like I'm gonna change anyway.
On the soccer field Jake is doing great but he continues to act like a wild animal at school. A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from his PE teacher that he wasn't listening in PE class. Who gets in trouble in PE!?! That is the one class that you are SUPPOSED to run around and jump and climb and get a little crazy, how can he screw that up? Apparently he was angry that it was raining and he didn't want to do PE indoors because the video they did was too long. So he sat in the middle of the floor and refused to participate. The PE teacher asked him to play along with the other kids and Jake said NO. The teacher told Jake he needed to either participate and do the video or go to the office for telling him no and refusing to do what he was told. Jake chose to go to the office. Five minutes later, another teacher brought Jake back to the gym teacher because she found him wandering around the halls when he DIDN'T go to the office. So he got a referral to the principal for lying about where he was going on top of everything else. Not good. A few days later, he ended up in the principal's office again when he argued with his classmate and told him he was going to kill him. So I guess Michaela is rubbing off on Jake. He wasn't allowed to go to extended day and I had to come pick him up, thank goodness it was already the end of the school day anyway. The principal said if he said it again he would probably get suspended. I don't know how to make these kids understand that they can't talk to people like that. Maybe they need to spend some time in an airport and let them see how stupid comments can get people stripped searched, interrogated, and held against their will. And they think I'm mean.
Joey is growing like a little weed, at his check up today he weighed 17 pounds, 6 ounces and was 27 inches long. But the doctor is concerned that he isn't rolling over yet. The baby has an older brother and sister who adore him and can't stand to let him cry for two seconds so of course he hasn't learned to work hard to get to something that he wants...they hand it to him to keep him quiet. Surprise! So I'm supposed to work with him to get him to roll over in the next couple of weeks and let the doctor know if he still isn't rolling in another month. I also asked about getting the big kids diagnosed with ADD or ADHD so we could try medication so we got a bunch of paperwork to fill out and they both have appointments in a month to go over the results. I don't know if I can make it that long.
We just can't seem to get it right. Joey is supposed to be rolling and he won't, Jake won't stop rolling when he is supposed to sit still, and Michaela is going to steam roll over anything and anyone that gets in her way. I just roll my eyes and shake my head. When it's time for bed though and they wrap those sweet little arms around me to give me a great big hug, I don't even care about all the craziness that happened during the day. That moment gives me the strength I need to get through whatever they decide to shell out tomorrow. Just keep those hugs comin' (and a margarita every now and then doesn't hurt!)
