I wasn't going to write today. It's been a busy, tiring week and I just didn't feel up to it. But then Ed and I were sitting here and I realized that I can't miss an opportunity to put down my thoughts on such a special occasion...
I'm one of those people who end up doing exactly what they say they absolutely do NOT want to do. It's not that I'm a pushover or liar or one to go back on my word, there are just crazy round-about circumstances that put me unexpectedly right in front of a decision that I have been trying to avoid and I end up doing the right thing against all of my vehement protesting. For example, I have quit education MULTIPLE times and sworn I would never go back. This cycle started clear back in college (I can't believe college was almost 20 years ago) when I was choosing a major. I started out in Engineering and then switched to Education. I subsequently changed my major 12 more times over the next 4 1/2 years before finally graduating with a BS in Secondary Education. Then I started teaching. My first job was at Wichita South High School and I loved the school and the people that I worked with. But it was hard. Teaching is an incredibly difficult profession. It was completely exhausting and I didn't have the emotional strength to keep it up. I left teaching again after two years in the classroom. I went back to grad school to get my PhD in Chemistry. I had been accepted at the University of Kansas and I loved it. I was going to be a doctor and work in a research lab and put my teaching habit behind me. Again after two years, my career path changed. Ed and I had gotten married, had baby Michaela and Ed was going to work for Target as a manager. I decided to try teaching again so that I would have regular hours so we could put Michaela in daycare. It was a very difficult position. I was teaching 6th grade math and I cried everyday on the way to work. This was when I really connected with my faith. Just to get through the day, I would start my commute by listing over and over again all of the blessings in my life and everything I was thankful for. This became a routine and in January when Ed decided to go back into television we moved to Texas (something else I swore I would never do! I told Ed to find a job anywhere BUT Texas. But then I loved it there!) I thanked God that I could quit teaching again. I swore I'd never go back this time. I was going to stay home with Michaela until she started school. Haha, that was a joke! It wasn't two months before I was going CRAZY and started putting out my resume. I was looking at teaching jobs but also at training positions with businesses. I ended up meeting a friend at church who had recently become the principal at a small rural school who needed a math teacher for the next school year. I was hesitant, but I had to get back to work. So I decided to try again. Fortunately, I was older, more mature, and better at time management. That was almost 8 years ago. I have really enjoyed the last 8 years in the classroom. I have connected with many of my students and I feel that I have been able to make a real difference in some of their lives. In spite of my reluctance to teach, I have done the best job I possibly could and it has paid off.
So after my side trip to grad school, I was left with 19 graduate hours in Chemistry. I had almost finished the coursework that was needed for a masters degree. So close, yet so far. A master's degree in science almost requires full time attendance. I wanted a research degree so I would have to quit my job and go to school full time in order to finish it. I kept hoping that I would be able to finish my degree. Friends and family kept urging me to get my masters degree in education so I could do part or all of it online. I kept refusing. I didn't want to spend all that money for a degree that I didn't want. I wanted to get my master's degree in Chemistry. And here I am two weeks from finishing my master's degree in education. It's not that I dislike education. I have enjoyed learning many of the things from my classes and I have been able to use much of the information in my own classroom. I just kept saying that I wouldn't get my master's in education because I wanted that science degree, and why pay for two? So now I will have my master's degree in Education Administration (a prinicipal's degree no less, there is no way I EVER want to be a principal...I'm sure you can see why it terrifies me to say that!) and I am starting a new job tomorrow as a Math Facilitator at my second new school this year. I'm really excited but a little scared about where this is going.
Now that I have shared some insight into the way my life works, let me get to the real story for today. Eleven years ago, I was absolutely NOT looking for a relationship. I had gotten married very young, before I even knew who I was and what I wanted. He was a great guy but we weren't meant to be. I had been divorced and got right into a relationship that was so wrong. I went a little wild, making up for time lost in college I guess, but I was enjoying myself. I had no desire to be in a relationship of any kind. I was dating a few different guys, just for company when I met Ed. He was in my hometown for National Guard duty and was at a bar with a couple of friends. I was in town so my mom could do my laundry (remember, making up for college days) and had gone to the same bar with an ex-boyfriend. Ed's older, married friend was dancing with me and asked if I'd be interested in dancing with his friend Ed. I said sure. Just having fun after all, what's the harm. He invited me to go to breakfast with them when the bar closed so I went. We had fun talking about football. We were both K-State fans and the Super Bowl was the next day (later that day really). So he said he'd call me after work so we could watch together. Whatever. When he called me that afternoon, the game was just about to start and I missed his call. For some reason I was having trouble working my phone and I couldn't remember how to call long distance (damn technology). I had tried twice and the call wouldn't go through. I decided I would try one more time then I was done if it didn't work. It did though and I met him an hour later to watch the New England Patriots go on to win their first Super Bowl over St Louis on February 3, 2002. After that, he kept calling me and we kept getting together, and I kept liking him more and more. I also kept insisting that I did not want to be in a relationship. I wasn't ready. He would just smile and say that was ok, he would wait. Even then he was patient with my special brand of crazy.
I never saw myself with kids either. I couldn't even begin to imagine being a parent. I kept putting it off because I wasn't ready. I was in school or didn't have enough room or couldn't afford it. Truthfully, I was too selfish. I didn't want to have to think of someone else's needs before my own. I prayed to be a better person and for God to give me patience. I got Michaela. Then Jake, and now Joey. So 11 years and 12 Super Bowls later, here I am. Married to Ed, who had the patience to wait out my adamant denial that we were in a relationship. (He claims he liked the challenge.) My three babies teach me how to think of others first and show me how much I can love someone (by the way, it's a little bit more every single day). So whether San Francisco or Baltimore wins, the Super Bowl always reminds me how much I have won, despite the fact I kept trying not to play.
Looking at how my life works itself out, I need to start insisting that there is no way I would EVER have a million dollars so I REFUSE to buy lottery tickets. Let's see where this goes...
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