We had so much fun Trick-or-Treating the other night! It didn't feel like October at all, the weather was balmy. In fact, Michaela was wearing a Winnie the Pooh onesie and was complaining that she was about to die and had on a tank top underneath so her costume was unzipped to her waist and hanging off of her shoulders. Jake was whiny, complaining that his legs hurt and he wanted to go home. And Joey was upset because his bucket wasn't full, he wanted to keep going door to door all night long. I guess it really wasn't all that fun. The kids were cute though and got a lot of candy...that they went home and ate...and then complained about being sick. Joey was even hollering at Ed to come and help him from the bathroom, "Daddy, STICKY SPLAT!" I looked at Ed, confused. I had never heard this term before the other night. Apparently it is Joey-speak for diarrhea. Yummy.
After we got home, the kids handed out some candy. A little. We had about 5 groups of kids come by. It was really sort of depressing. The whole night really kinda sucked to be honest. I got on Facebook and saw posts from friends from my hometown who had kids in costumes, actually smiling! Trick-or-Treaters were lined up all down the sidewalk. *Sigh*
October has historically been a really tough month for me. Ever since Ed and I left Kansas. Maybe it even started that year. You know October is the month that it actually starts to FEEL like football season (sometimes) and then I start to miss the games. I miss the South vs. Central rivalry that my grandparents used to take me to, along with every other high school football game throughout the season. Every Friday night we would take the blankets and a thermos of hot chocolate to the stadium downtown... Then there's the World Series. I've never really liked to watch full baseball games but I sure loved eating ice cream and popcorn in Grandma and Grandpa's basement while the games were on. I miss the K-State football games, the occasional Chiefs game I used to go to, the Royals games, and even just sitting in a restaurant or bar on Sunday afternoon with like-minded fans. October makes me miss home.
This Halloween was another reminder that I'm not in Kansas anymore. Just like in recent years past, I wanted to go home. But then I have to think about what home has to offer...or not. The really big deterrent is that Ed has no job prospects there. That's more than a small problem. I have to remind myself that as much as I get frustrated with his job, it definitely pays the bills, kind of. My job wouldn't pay as much there. The government in Kansas is continuing to de-fund Education so my job may not even exist there much longer! The kids have had tremendous opportunities in Texas and Little Rock. Between gymnastics, soccer, Taekwondo, and the educational opportunities they have had...it couldn't be matched if we had stayed in a small town. They have a lot of life experience that I never knew as a kid.
There are certainly things we are missing out on having left "home". I have to remember all the positive experiences we have had since we left though. We have lived amazing places and had some great times with truly SPECIAL people. When I think of all the friends I would not have made if we had never left...it's worth the sad nostalgia that I feel in October. The experience, love, and friendships we have found along the way are so much more than the longing that my heart feels as the weather starts to cool down. So as I watch the World Series wind down, or the game-winning touchdown any given Friday, Saturday, or Sunday; the tear that slides down my cheek isn't so much for the loss or win of that particular game. It's a combination of the loss from my childhood and the wins I have found elsewhere as an adult. Sad and happy all rolled into one.
So much love in a single tear.
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